Existing stress-free.
You can (probably) do that right now. You just have to give up on the idea of advancing any aspect of your life to do it. Related quote from the movie Fight Club: “it’s only after you’ve lost everything, that you’re free to do anything.” I think about that line a lot, because it has both positive and negative implications.
I stress about maintaining my existing life, not advancing it…
Earn enough money from Photography to make a living.
Walk into a random cafe some time and find one of my photos is on their wall.
I dream of a world where I believe problems will be resolved to the benefit of everyone and I don’t have to worry about my family’s financial wellbeing
I wanna understand how the universe functions on both a macro and micro scale.
I’d really like to know what it’s like to be normal. Like, to be able to look and my life and say, “wow! I’m a perfectly functional, capable adult with a stable life. That’s great.”
Mostly, I guess I mean having a neurotypical brain, but I don’t know if that’s a hard requirement. I’d like to be able to socialize properly. I’d like to be able to go out and engage with people without my social battery being dead within 10 minutes, or without my anxiety of other people scaring me off from the thought of interacting with a stranger altogether.
I’d like to live somewhere with things to do and a way to easily access those things. I’d like to live somewhere where I’m not terrified to go outside, because it would mean having to risk my life behind the wheel of a car, or pay a ton of money I don’t have for a stranger to drive me where I want to go. I’d like to be able to fearlessly walk out my door and explore the world around me instead of hiding from it.
I’d like to know how to be able to do the things you’re supposed to do to have a full, well-adjusted life. I’d like to be able to live that life without having to combat a mountain of anxiety before every meeting or appointment. Logically, I know things will be fine, but when every other part of my brain screams that everything will go catastrophically wrong, it’s hard to ignore. I’d like to not shake, or be nauseous, or feel like I’m gonna shit my guts out before every little thing I have to do that isn’t sitting at home. I’d like to just be able to go do those things, and not worry about it.
I don’t know. There’s probably more, but these are what I can think of for right now.
When I was a kid, all the way up to when I was a young adult, I used to adore being quirky and unique. It was my identity, and I loved it about myself. I just wasn’t tired yet.
I turn 33 next month, and, honestly, all I want is to be normal.
Living in a world that doesn’t feel like it’s about to crumble.
Small cider making business.
I know you’re talking alcoholic cider, but you just brought back one of the few happy memories of my childhood. There used to be a small (nonalcoholic) apple cider making business relatively close to where I grew up. Every fall we’d compile a whole bunch of empty gallon jugs and make the drive over there. They had a giant keg of apple cider that they’d fill all the jugs from, and since I was just a kid the employees used to let me help them fill up the jugs. The smell of that place was absolute heaven. We’d leave with about 10 or 15 gallons of apple cider that we’d freeze for the rest of the year and a small jar of apple butter.
I want to be able to live in a small place with a backyard facing woods, hills, or water. I want to be able to pay my bills with enough left over for some savings, some fun stuff, and maybe a short vacation once every year or two. I want to go hiking on the weekend and I want to sit on my back porch at night and drink tea while wrapped in a blanket and I want a gaming room with a big window so I can play games late at night looking up at the sky. Why are my dreams so unattainable?
I’d like to have enough money to get a few medical issues I’m concerned about looked at.
Own a house. I finally start making decent money and can save but it’s nothing to what I would need for a mortgage. On top of that if I do finally bite I can’t guarantee my income if I chnlange jobs which could be a thing. I just want to own and have a yard so I can get a dog. My shitty apparetment doesn’t have space or commodities for it and rent keeps going up.
Retirement.
Early retirement and eternal life, perhaps. These are both probably out of reach - not to mention incompatible - but who knows.
Eternal life isn’t out of reach ❤️
Bring as many people to Christ as possible ❤️
That’s kidnapping!
