Unskippable ads directly to your brainhole
Holes in the brain are something intelligent people generally try to avoid.
True, which is one of the many reasons why intelligent people will generally try to avoid having The Monkey Killer installed in their brains.
Nothing a classic COM port & some FOSS self hosted software can’t fix.
Yeah, no… I’m generally in support of making all software FOSS, but I draw the line at making my brain functions open source 😄
On the contrary it being open source is the only way I’d ever put a chip in my brain.
Hell no I don’t want proprietary code running with access to my brain that I don’t have complete control and knowledge of
Just look at how much sneaky crap is in smartphones already
Hmm, good point…
death penalty for taking any recreational drug that interferes with your mandatory discord feed
Yes, but only the lucky ones win death in a raffle (1 in a 1000). The rest are shipped to mines. And their memories are not wiped clean, because the suffering is the integral part of such economy.
The difference is that it’s consensual, you libtard.
Now try not to think about those monkeys we’re testing the product on and whether it was consensual for them.
/s if it wasn’t obvious
Just because you have someone’s consent, doesn’t make whatever you do to them legal.
For example, you can sign a contract to allow me to bludgeon you to death, but it’s still murder regardless of your consent.
Frankly, Elon has killed enough animals in this endeavor that it’s unconscionable to allow him to test it on people. It’s only going to end poorly.
you can sign a contract to allow me to bludgeon you to death, but it’s still murder regardless of your consent
I agree this is the current law. But I certainly don’t agree with this law. Do you?
I feel people should absolutely be allowed to consent to death, or potential death. And I mean, we already can in various other contexts like skiing in avalanche terrain, ordering too many big macs, or medically assisted suicide to prevent suffering from incurable conditions (at least in a few civilized places).
Yeah we have that in Canada, you can choose to end it with doctor help via the MAID program. Lets people die with dignity.
You’re talking to someone whose wife died 4 months ago (at 34 years old), from one of those incurable conditions. I’ll let you guess how I feel about allowing people to end their life on their terms.
I’m confident you strongly support allowing it as I have never met someone who witnessed a loved one suffer like that and does not support lessening their suffering.
So since you support allowing people to end their own lives in that context, you understand that people can indeed consent to death. So perhaps consenting to death should be permitted in other contexts too. That’s the only point I was making.
deleted by creator
I understand your point. I think people should be able to consent to that, but how do you assure they don’t do this because they get forced to agree?
The same way we assure people consenting to anything at all are not being forced to. We try our best basically. And sometimes we’ll probably get it wrong and need to improve. I’m completely ok with that when the alternative is guaranteed preventable suffering. Just like I’m ok with people using power of attorney to protect the finances of people with dementia, even if sometimes it gets misapplied.
You are free to get the chip or not.
But if you refuse the chip then you might lose your job, or your ability to shop.
It will be the new cellphone.
The first one might suck but can be solved by either working under the table or with underhanded tactics, not super easy but doable.
For the second one, it’s much easier, !shoplifting@slrpnk.net can help you.
That’s just how science works.
The good far outweighs the evil.
All the moles agree, birds should have their wings cut off and replaced with shovels. For better digging. It’s scientifically obvious.
K
When the conspiracy theory said Gates was doing it, it was the end of days.
Now that musk is doing it, it’ll be sliced bread 2.0.
Nah. These people balk at me wanting an rfid emu chip in my hand.
I will one up you. I’d like to see something that shows body temperature, 02 saturation, and heart rate. Needs to be about the size of a grain of race and implanted in us right after birth. DING, your child has a fever. DING, your child is suffocating in their sleep.
I mean, yeah. My rid/nfc emu chips are passive, tho.
It will be the new vax. Anybody who doesn’t get it will be guilty of antisocial behavior and endangering the health of their fellow citizens.
In fact if you got the vax then it’s only logical that you get the chip too.
I want you to think long and hard between the differences between not getting protection against a deadly, highly transmissible disease and not getting an iPhone implanted in your skull.
I’ll give you a hint. Only one of them actually endangers lives.
Both are the clear choice for every obedient, right-thinking, socially-conscious citizen. Smart guys like you and me. It’s a foregone conclusion.
Do you understand how disease spreads?
Do you know that if you decide you’re too cool for a jab that has been tested on literal billions of people and proven safe and effective in over 99.9% of cases, and end up getting COVID, not only could you be stuck with “long COVID” complications for life but you could also spread the disease to someone immunocompromised who isn’t eligible for the shot and will almost certainly die from it?
That’s nice. Did you copy paste it or do you have it memorized?
I could dig up several reputable sources to corroborate everything I just said, but first I’d like to ask if you have even one that calls it into question.
Give me one reason for not getting the shot besides opposing everything the government does because you want to feel like a special boy.
Yes yes. So virtuous and obedient.
But consider this. Take all your well-worn arguments for the vax and every time you see “vax”, replace that with “brainchip”.
You see how it works.
All I’m seeing is ads streamed directly to the brain with no way but one to stop it, assuming that instinct doesn’t get neurologically suppressed.
Futurama Season 1: Episode 6. Fry gets ads in dreams.
Futurama Splash Screen with: “Any Resemblance to Actual Future is Purely Coincidental” written as gag.
You don’t have to worry about that, It’s an Elon Musk owned product, he already solved that with TwiXer. He just has to make sure that Nazi’s can send their propoganda to your brain, and then advertisers will stay very far away from the neuro link.
That seems like a rosy scenario compared to Meet the Robinsons.
Neuralink aims to help people with paralysis communicate by allowing them to remotely control devices using brain activity. In the future, Neuralink may help enhance user memory and cognitive abilities, restore a user’s motor, sensory and visual functions as well as treat neurological disorders.
It’s for paralyzed people and neuralink isn’t the only company researching the technology. I swear, where the fuck do you people get your information from, and how do you just never bother to google it to see for yourselves?
No, Neuralink is for stupid Elmo fanboys to waste money and health on and allow Elmo to continue executing his fascist anti-human agenda. And yes, other companies actually try to make devices that will help people. It’s not about the technology, it’s about that motherfucking shit-golem and the way he treats people (hint: like expandable cheap renewable resources). But if you like that fuck so much, I hope you’ll be one of the people leaving Earth and following him to Mars. I actually can’t wait that day to happen. We used to joke how great it would be to put all fascist into a space rocker and launch them into space, and it will soon not only become reality, but the stupid fucks will go willingly. Perfect!
I don’t really disagree, but are you doing ok?
Me “it’s meant to help paralyzed people move and walk and live again, something previously deemed impossible”
You: goes off on some wild Elon musk fueled rage and says nothing about the point of the product
You might need to seek help if you get this worked up over something that heals people…
I remember reading an article just a few weeks ago about a company that made a combination prosthetic/implant for blind people to be able to see in the…early 2000s, I think? It was an early technology, low-rez, but somewhat miraculous for some.
And then the company went out of business.
As the implants began to wear out, or the software developed bugs, or the patients’ needs changed, things fell apart. They lost their vision and nobody could help them because the hardware and software were proprietary.
Now Elon Musk—with his reputation for quality control and following through with ideas and open source—wants to put things in our brains. Backed by the full faith and credit of Elon Musk.
One day he’s going to push down an update that makes everybody with a Neuralink stop and say “hehe butts” in a funny voice, and the tech bros will say “lol great meme Elon” even though a dozen of them got hit by a car because they were forced to stop while they walked across the street, and thirty of them lost their jobs because they said “hehe butts” to their managers, and one of them was a soldier who said “hehe butts” in an active warzone and blew the whole squad’s cover.
I can’t believe anyone is honestly entertaining this.
Deus Ex, here we come!
Get ready for mental health DLC patches or micro transactions.
Probably already been hacked. We just haven’t heard about it yet.
No need to hack when the fatality rate in primates is already so high.
BECAUSE👏EVERY👏ACCUSATION👏IS👏A👏CONFESSION👏
mm cool can’t wait to have brain surgery every 2 years when new version comes out
That’s why you do the FOSS version, it’s designed to be easily upgradable and customizable to all your needs, and even on old hardware will still accept updates.
In other news Musk opens pizzeria in Washington DC
Called Meteor Table Tennis. This one WILL have a basement 😬
I welcome these regressive assholes getting a chip in their brain that has been shown to fry the brains of monkeys if they want it. Maybe we should even be campaigning for it in the South.
Ah of course. The old: “if we do it to people we dislike, it isn’t a crime” angle. Mixed in with generalizations like “people from the South”.
Kindness matters, especially when it seems like there’s nothing to be gained from it.
Next time I’ll add the /j
What’s /j, not heard of that one
/just completely serious
I’m kidding. /j is joke
Still won’t make it funny.
Based
deleted by creator
why do you hate science?
I guarantee you that if you ever become a quadriplegic you’d be begging for this technology to help you live again.
All of you people realize this is a medical technology, right? It’s not just to help you post on Twitter faster. This thing helps people communicate and move again.
Medical for lobotomies right now, I suppose.
What does that even mean?
Lobotomies scrambled the brain, brain implants help paralyzed people.
I’m so confused by you people.
It means the monkeys they tested on all got lobotomized.
If it was a dull medical company people wouldn’t be itching to downvote you so quickly. Elon is bad for any PR these days. but even without his chip medical science places are doing electrical implants to stimulate “deadzones” in the brain. Seems helpful for certain things like parkinsons and schitzophrenia
I would disagree, I couldn’t care less about their work if they didn’t make it foss or at the very least source available because as great as it is they’ll take it with them when they go bankrupt if they don’t share their specs, schematics, and source code, just like the company with those implants for blindness.
what does the chip do?
It fries the brains of monkeys and likely humans too.
Which part of the article claimed it fried a monkey brain? I read the whole thing and got “came loose” and “caused internal bleeding” once, but nothing about it frying a brain.
I wasn’t being literal. Isn’t it bad enough that it killed them? Do you have to nitpick exactly HOW Musk’s crappy chip is going to kill a lot of people?
I don’t think it’s about nitpicking it’s about being honest.
“Frying” is a common dramatic shorthand for destroying the brain in any way. That you’re unfamiliar with the expression doesn’t make me dishonest.
No your misuse of the phrase does. If a person suffers a physical brain injury, as dramatic for instance as a metal rod getting shot into their brain leaving them disabled, you don’t say their brain was fried. It’s used primarily to describe chemical issues with the brain, such as a person who used a bit too many drugs and their brain is now impaired because of it. The primates in the article suffered issues caused by the physical installation of the chip, not from the functioning of the chip. Therefore not fried.
The primates in the article suffered issues caused by the physical installation of the chip, not from the functioning of the chip.
And you’re calling ME dishonest? 🤦
Another macaque mentioned — known as Animal 15 — “began to press her head against the floor for no apparent reason” days after receiving the implant, and her condition only went downhill from there:
Animal 15 began to lose coordination and staff observed that she would shake uncontrollably when she saw lab workers. Her condition deteriorated for months until the staff finally euthanized her. A necropsy report indicates that she had bleeding in her brain and that the Neuralink implants left parts of her cerebral cortex “focally tattered.”
Does that sound like a fucking installation issue to you?
Also, even if it WAS, they left that bad “installation” for MONTHS and you’d trust those fuckers to put anything in your brain? I guess “death by fanboying too hard” is ONE way to go…
My bad bro, I thought it was literal because the way you said it…and yes it’s terrible that it killed a few monkeys, but that’s literally how most medical and even cosmetic science works, please don’t ever look into it if you’re actually concerned for the animals and not just frothing and seething because your trigger word was used.
It’s basically a cellphone in your head. So convenient.
It’s being explored by multiple companies because of its amazing medical potential.
Basically, it will help paralyzed people of varying levels of paralysis learn to be mobile and interact with people again, basically giving people who have lost all hope their lives back.
Paralyzed man able to walk again thanks to brain implant
How a brain implant gave a woman her voice back
People just tend to get knee-jerk reactive when they associate anything with that Musk guy.
Part of the reason people have criticized Musk’s in particular is because of the high rate of fatalities in the trials on monkeys. I’ve seen scientists commenting that it should’ve been pulled after the first death, considering how stringent the requirements for animal testing are, but all those issues and requirements have largely been hand-waved away.
Source?
Because that’s simply not true, animals die in laboratory environments and experiments all the time, but for some reason only one company takes any public heat.
Take 2 seconds to start typing the word “neuralink” into Google
One of the first auto fills will be “neuralink monkeys”
And from there it’s stupid easy to find articles on the topic
Okay I did it again just for you and found that I was right in the field I’m knowledgeable in (shocking) and it’s not above the norm.
The total number of animal deaths does not necessarily indicate that Neuralink is violating regulations or standard research practices. Many companies routinely use animals in experiments to advance human health care, and they face financial pressure to quickly bring products to market. The animals are typically killed when experiments are completed, often so they can be examined post-mortem for research purposes.
Also, maybe you’re conflating the total number of animal deaths with just monkeys…they test on a variety of animals, same as any other company.
O man, really, that’s the only quote you found? That’s a qoute from a Reuters article from December 6, 2022, so just after news about the federal probe broke out and there was no more information about it. You also had to look really hard for it, because it’s very far on the results list. So yeah, smooth, really smooth, just like Fox News…
Here is what I found:
Animal 15 began to lose coordination and staff observed that she would shake uncontrollably when she saw lab workers. Her condition deteriorated for months until the staff finally euthanized her. A necropsy report indicates that she had bleeding in her brain and that the Neuralink implants left parts of her cerebral cortex “focally tattered.`”
Overnight, researchers observed the monkey, identified only as “Animal 20” by UC Davis, scratching at the surgical site, which emitted a bloody discharge, and yanking on a connector that eventually dislodged part of the device.A surgery to repair the issue was carried out the following day, yet fungal and bacterial infections took root. Vet records note that neither infection was likely to be cleared, in part because the implant was covering the infected area. The monkey was euthanized on January 6, 2020.
Shown a copy of Musk’s remarks on X about Neuralink’s animal subjects being “close to death already,” a former Neuralink employee alleges to WIRED the claim is “ridiculous” if not a “straight fabrication.” “We had these monkeys for a year or so before any surgery was performed,” they say. The ex-employee, who requested anonymity for fear of retaliation, says up to a year’s worth of behavioral training was necessary for the program, a time frame that would exempt subjects already close to death’s door.
Animal 22, was euthanized in March 2020 after his cranial implant became loose. A necropsy report revealed that two of the screws securing the implant to the skull loosened to the extent that they “could easily be lifted out.” The necropsy for Animal 22 clearly states that “the failure of this implant can be considered purely mechanical and not exacerbated by infection.” If true, this would appear to directly contradict Musk’s statement that no monkeys died as a result of Neuralink’s chips.
Oh, and it may come as a shock to you, but Musk and his henchmen are lying pieces of shit. They lied about the condition of the animals and their deaths (unlike normal research teams), which is another reason why people are mad and this isn’t like other research conducted by actual scientists.
Take care and try to avoid getting hit by the Cybertruck, a “car” that isn’t road legal in any normal country.
Yes because that quote about it being not out of the normal is the most important part.
And yes they have an interest in lying at any company that controls the research and development, but the federal government investigated them last year and it seems to have found no wrongdoing.
But I guess none of that is enough for you people here just shooting the shit and not being serious because it’s a meme community. So carry on with your hot takes and get your rage fill for the day on!
The Gruesome Story of How Neuralink’s Monkeys Actually Died
Elon Musk denies Neuralink monkeys died gruesome deaths, saying they live in ‘monkey paradise’
Musk’s Neuralink faces federal inquiry after killing 1,500 animals in testing Note: More than a year old at this point
US Animal Welfare Act links on the National Agricultural Library website
I didn’t find any specifics on death rates in my search through the legalese, but I remember reading a comment sometime before Reddit killed third-party apps from somebody who works in a lab with nematodes that animals more complicated than those are regulated strictly enough that even a single death under your watch can be grounds for termination of your license when you get up to monkeys and such.
From your own sources:
Neuralink treats animals quite well compared with other research facilities, employees said in interviews, echoing public statements by Musk and other executives. Company leaders have boasted internally of building a “Monkey Disneyland” in the company’s Austin, Texas, facility where lab animals can roam, a former employee said. In the company’s early years, Musk told employees he wanted the monkeys at his San Francisco Bay Area operation to live in a “monkey Taj Mahal”, said a former employee who heard the comment. Another former employee recalled Musk saying he disliked using animals for research but wanted to make sure they were “the happiest animals” while alive.
And people are getting knee-jerk reactive to anything Musk for absolutely no reason, right? He’s 100% mentally stable and none of the products his companies are selling are dangerous and morally questionable. Got it! /s It’s not about implants being bad, it’s about implants made by a company controlled by a constantly drugged sociopath. Here is a story a nice story about people getting their eye implants switched off, because the company who made them went out of business: https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-60416058 https://spectrum.ieee.org/bionic-eye-obsolete
I’m sure you are aware that brain implants can’t be replaced every year like your iPhone. You can’t just keep yanking the electrodes out and put new ones, because it’s a friggin’ brain surgery…
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Paralyzed man able to walk again thanks to brain implant
How a brain implant gave a woman her voice back
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
All conspiracies come true if you spread them and wait long enough… Eventually some crazy rich guy will have heard it and make it real. 😅
Humans are weird. 😅
Man, I don’t know what right wingers y’all are talking about.
I come from a super right wing family and all them MFs think this is a bad idea too (though to be fair, they’re def on the conspiracy theory “everything is to get a microchip in my blood/brain” side of things).
I come from a super-right wing family too (but from Europe) and they really are in love Elon because it’s like “a dog being out of control” in the billionaire group, the one who is brave enough to go against the rules, defying the “cancel culture” and the unidirectional thinking imposed by political correctness.
Ah, yes. Because Elon is clearly the only billionaire who is a conservative.
That’s interesting to hear. I wouldn’t have expected Europeans would have thought about ol’ Elon that much.
In general I would argue that he has a good reputation, due to good marketing mostly. A great lot of people see him as some sort of “illuminated visionary” who fosters innovation for the Good™ and will save humanity with SpaceX, Tesla, etc. [I don’t agree personally to any of it but that’s another story].
Ugh, yeah, I don’t hate the guy, but I also think that anyone who still thinks he’s a visionary hasn’t actually been paying attention to his work/how his companies are going lately.
Honestly I haven’t heard any of my right wing coworkers etc… talk about this particular company, but I have heard a lot of elon worship from them. IE I hear a lot of them talk about how he’s gone so pro free speach with twitter. (and they tend to ignore me when I point out that he’s censoring every bit as much as the old twitter, he’s just nicer to the nazis and less nice to the left.
Ugh, yeah, that is a point of frustration I have with the family.
For them, it’s not so much “look what Musk is doing” so much as “look at how much better Twitter’s gotten”, which is particularly ripe cause none of them even use the platform. As I think on it, that probably means the big Fox talking heads are saying things like that.
I never got into Twitter myself (just never really understood / took to the format), which is kind of a shame cause I’d really like to be supporting Mastodon in this years surgance of the Fediverse.
every vocal right winger i hear hates this idea
But do they hate the guy? As much as Bill Gates?
It’s like when Trump shat on veterans and the rightwingers didn’t care.
no. i suppose you are correct. from what i see they may think he is incompetent, but not evil like bill microsoft gates
Nothing against experimenting with this chip in Musk’s brain. It’s always good to start with something simple.
