Do you care if your partner has had a lot of partners before you; does it turn you on that she has had a lot of dick inside her or do you absolutely get sick at the notion of the idea?
Please never say “body count” again.
I only care about it if they talk about it. Had one bad experience with a girl bullying me, telling me how good she had it with other men, and seven years later I still can’t make myself date anyone. Even though I really want to.
The fact you’re using terms like “body count” indicates a little immaturity.
I’ve only met teens and young adults who care about such things - as you get older, you accrue more and more experiences with other people. It’s unavoidable. People fuck. That’s a wonderful part of life.
If you’re icked that you’re not the first person to be intimate with someone and have an expectation that they should have fewer or zero experiences before you, you need to ask yourself why the fuck does it matter?
If it’s because of the risk of STI/STDs then you should both get tested before you engage in any sexual activity. But that has nothing to do with body count, really, does it? You can have one experience and still get an STD.
If it’s because of something you struggle to articulate, you need to ask yourself if it’s simply an issue with your ego and anxiety that the other person has had more or better experiences before than they have/will have with you.
And personally, nothing gives me the ick more than someone with a fragile ego.
You can have one experience and still get an STD.
Or zero experience and just a bad blood transfusion or even an open wound getting in contact with blood of an infected person.
Excellent point and further reason to care about your health and get tested regularly (especially between partners).
I agree with the overall point that it doesn’t matter.
I’ll just add/disagree: “body count” is just a phrase to indicate how many people you have slept with, and OP just asked a question, didn’t indicate a position on the matter. I don’t think it indicates immaturity to use a short, easy-to-understand phrase to communicate an idea.
Even if hypothetically immature, I think people may have an emotional reaction even if they agree with all of the above. So I think it’s an interesting question.
“How many people have you killed?”
“What?”
“You know! With your dick!”
It’s so gross.
That’s fair; my experience is it’s something that crops up in chat when younger (I’ve not heard it in conversation with people my own age since the 2000s). Older people don’t really care…
The question being phrased as a Boolean “does it turn you on or make you sick” was quite revealing. Once you’ve been around the block, the option “doesn’t matter” emerges.
Although if the answer is “it turns me on”, you’re going to enjoy life haha.
No, if you read the rest of the post all he talks about is how many “dicks” a girl has had inside of her. He definitely has a clear position, but it’s relative to gender, maybe not number of partners.
I’ve only met teens and young adults who care about such things…
Then you should get out more.
If you’re icked that you’re not the first person to be intimate with someone…
Ah, here’s the basis for your previous remark. You are either intentionally twisting the argument or you have some kind of cultural bias showing. There’s relatively few people who identify as men in the United States who care about “first” but there’s quite a few people of any sex or gender who care about being the 50th.
…you need to ask yourself why the fuck does it matter?
Yes sex feels good but so does eating and many people will absolutely judge those who fall into gluttony because they will not restrain themselves.
…you need to ask yourself if it’s simply an issue with your ego and anxiety that the other person has had more or better experiences before than they have/will have with you.
Different things interest different people. Some people want an experienced partner who already knows that they’re down for a three way on a balcony in Vegas because they’ve done it. Other people want a less experienced partner so they can experience the excitement of doing something that’s new to both of them. I’ve had and enjoyed both kinds of partners.
And personally, nothing gives me the ick more than someone with a fragile ego.
For me it’s judgy people who care too much about what other people think or do.
“…you should get out more.”
“…you have some kind of cultural bias showing.”
“…many people will absolutely judge those who fall into gluttony…”
“For me it’s judgy people who care too much about what other people think or do.”
Yes sex feels good but so does eating and many people will absolutely judge those who fall into gluttony because they will not restrain themselves.
But why restrain? This is what I don’t get. Eating too much has obvious drawbacks. Sex does not.
You only get one life, might as well have as much fun as you can.
I think this stems from the whole ‘sinful’ thing that religions try to push on us. It’s too bad because there’s no need for it. In the middle ages the church was the government and they didn’t want people screwing around when there was no contraception (too much hassle with orphans to take care of). That’s probably why they made a big deal out of it. But anyway I’m not religious so it doesn’t apply to me.
Also there’s the STD thing but everyone I know in the now promiscuous community is checked regularly (I do every 3 months), using condoms and sometimes even PrEP. Also the more obscure vaccines like HPV (can cause nasty cancers these days!)
Anyway I never really made a ‘count’. Because it just doesn’t matter. Probably not much more than 50.
I’m more of the “sex positive” kind. We believe that sex (between consenting adults obviously) is a normal and beneficial human activity and nothing to feel ashamed about 🫶
I was just curious and wanted to know people’s thoughts…calm down.
I have no fucking idea. I lost count years ago.
I really only care if it’s low. I’m a dirty dirty slut and I’d prefer my partner to also be a dirty, dirty slut.
I’d love to be a dirty slut, but man, it does not come easily.
I’ve fucked more than one, and under a million
It’s not important.
Anyone getting “absolutely sick” has something fundamentally wrong with them.
Women are constantly punished for their sexuality by feeble, insecure excuses for men
As long as they have no diseases I’m fine. Bonus if they have no ability to get pregnant. (For example surgery) . Not getting someone pregnant is huge for me.
They could be an ex porn star for all I care.
What really raises my eyebrows is that a lot of dudes who do have a problem with promiscuity would definitely leap at the chance to sleep with a famous porn star. Just like Trump did. This demonstrates how it’s not about the sex or any risks, it’s about perceived status through a patriarchal lens.
I’ve had my girl dick in over 20-30 people or so, and I’m super proud of it, and noone I know cares about body count at all. Usually we only care to the exstend of perhapse needing an std test, cause we all raw dog it in my circle of friends
I can’t decide if your comment about noone caring at all was meant as a neutral observation about the people you know, or a statement of disappointment that none of your friends appreciate your accomplishment. 😆
I would also be proud to get that high. So from me: good job! 👍
It’s as in the neutral observation way. We usually love to share the lewd things we’ve been up to. I’m part of a network of very sex positive people who wears the badge of “slut” with a lot of pride^^
No I don’t care. If anything more is better. More experience more ability for fun. It’s better when someone knows what they like.
Also I prefer non monogamous relationships. Fun is better shared 🫶
I decided to stop counting when I hit the national average, that was a while back.
I didn’t think to give much of a fuck about history of sexual experiences until recently, but having met a partner with significantly less experience it’s become obvious that sex gets better with practice and reflection.
In BDSM you can make sex homework sexy and hot, good thing too, as remedial sex is… let’s say predictable.
Sure, if you’re worried that said person has had better experiences with other people and believe that spmeone’s peak sexual experience overrides any sort of romantic notions and other compatabikity. Frankly though, while that won’t actually be a problem if you’re at least vaguely competent at sex the whining about it and self-sabotage certainly will be.
Just imagine you yourself having several partners and other experiences. Would you want someone looking at you like “eww gross”? No, you wouldn’t, because you know that that’s not a huge deal. And if you can’t extend that courtesy to someone else there is no reason you should be anywhere near an intimate relationship until you figure it out.
It’s always for guys the more women that you have fucked the better. “You’re a stud”. But for women if they have fucked more than a handful they are sluts.
For sex and not necessarily love, a guy should want a woman who has fucked a lot of guys. It indicates that she is into sex on a physical basis much more than emotional.
Sex is a lot of fun when both are into the physical aspects of it. As opposed to the woman consenting just to make you happy.
Five-ish. No, I can’t say I care that much about a partner’s count, but I am a bit embarrassed about mine.
What is there to be embarassed about?
Five feels a bit low. At least lower than I would’ve expected to have by now.
Don’t let social norms dictate how you live your life. Do what (and who) makes you happy.
Five is the best number. Regardless of context. Plus I bet that’s higher than average.
I don’t really care about the number of prior partners a current partner has had per se…
What I care about is mindset/kink compatability and whether or not they actually know and can communicate what they do and don’t want in the bedroom.
In my experience, there is next to no correlation between how many partners someone has had and how actually good they are at having and enjoying sex.
If its a fuckbuddy/fling situation, body count doesn’t matter either way.
If its a committed monogamous relationship, well, as long as they can actually be monogamous, again, doesn’t really matter.
I’ve been in both kinds of situations, off and on…
I’m more impressed/repulsed by your abilities in bed than I am of your body count, some ‘much-sex-havers’ are terrible at foreplay, communication, actual physical technique, some ‘very-little-sex-havers’ are amazing at all of that.
Don’t care unless it’s extreme. I don’t think I’d care then either, but don’t know until I’ve been faced with that reality.
Unless the number is ridiculously high (what’s that one rock star who said he had sex with a number the 20,000 range or something?), hell no, and even then, it’s only because it sounds like this is going to be just another tick on their ledger.
