- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
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Even worse when they post „Found a solution“ and close the thread.
“Already answered in another thread. Locked.”
The other thread: “I found this guide on (dead site), and it fixed my problem”
This is one of my favourite xkcds because it made me more consciously aware of the peculiar intimacy of the situation in the comic. Furthermore, in addition to the link that exists between me and someone on a forum with my particular tech problem, it also made me feel connected to everyone who had a different problem to me, but were also desperately trawling forums for help
This comic made me go back to a post I made and put in the solution I found to a really strange problem. 2 years later someone responded saying they had the same problem and my solution fixed it for them.
I think about this XKCD every goddam day.
This will be now my standard template for the technical support
Dear, Valued Customer
chkdsk c: /f /r
Microsoft thanks you for your business
Have problem with computer
Search for solution
Find old forum post with the exact problem from 15 years ago
“Edit: Fixed it myself. Nevermind.”
"I see you have problems with GAME NAME crashing. I have played games since my childhood they always let me immerse myself in the world and relax after a stressful day (…)
(…)
Useless suggestion
(…)
Even more useless suggestion that requires you to launch a command prompt
(…)
If that doesn’t help, download our totally-not-a-virus.exe to prevent crashes in OTHER GAME YOU WEREN’T GOOGLING"
The only time a Windows solution doesn’t use command prompt is when it uses Power Shell
I switched to Linux because everything just works and I never need to touch CLI
That’s the support forums. It gets worse with actual support, that goes all chummy friendly, adds emoji and exclamation marks randomly. I would not have been surprised if my last exchange with MS Support ended with “tee hee”.
They’re weird.
Looked up how to “close tabs to left” on Edge* since there’s a button for right but not left. Click MS help link, the dude legitimately recommended moving all the tabs backwards then closing to right.
He also said you could do control click on them and “close selected tabs” which worked… decently. Still mad there’s not a button for closing tabs to left though.* this was on my education laptop where I can’t use Firefox and Chrome doesn’t save cookies so id have to log into everything every single time for ‘safety’
This applies to almost everything tech related whenever there is an official support and non-standard issue. These people (or bots) just follow some script and as soon as there is a bit more complex or non-standard situation, they will have no clue what to do because they are not technical.
As far as Microsoft Support Community goes, if issue is popular there often is a decent answer deeper in thread, do not focus on ″best answer″.
As per this, it seems these Independent Advisors are outsourced by Microsoft from some company called Directly. Answer is from 2019 November so it might be outsourced to different company now. There might be also several. Same happens with at least M365 enterprise support. I have seen supporters from Accenture and other companies.
Somewhere in the not so distant future…
Google Search: “Install printer driver windows 11”
Result from random blog:
“My first experience with printer drivers was 35 years ago. My grandma had an IBM PS2 that ran MS DOS and an HP Deskjet printer. It connected to the computer via a parallel port and printed a whopping 1 page per minute. Every year at Christmas, Grandma would print off her famous pecan pie recipe and we would all gather around the printer, eagerly listening to the sound of the print head slowly whooshing back and forth in anticipation of the tasty goodness to come. Blah blah blah. Five more pages of meaningless stories that have nothing to do with installing print drivers followed by a solution that only works for Epson printers.”The final solution will be to renew your printer driver subscription at the low low cost of $15/month.
the funniest part of the story is the idea that anyone’s grandma in the 90s had a computer and printed recipes, instead of a handmade old growth hardwood box full of 100 year old recipes handwritten with a quill pen
edit: nvm, my brain didn’t register the “in the future” bit
Also, reprinting the recipe every year.
Uhhhh
Mine did both
sfc /scannow will apparently fix any windows issue. All of them.
And if that doesn’t work, run dism and then do it all again
That didn’t work?
Oh
Reinstall or buy a new computer. K NEXT.
✅ Accepted Solution
Nah, just run chkdsk with any flags you like, this should probably fix it.
I can’t believe they are getting away with so many bullshit non-solutions to the point where you wonder if they even know how to read.
I wonder if they trained AI on this. Might explain some things
I kinda like the MS Support Forum. If it’s in my results, I don’t open it for the solution. I just want to see the braindead support answer and the countless complains about it for fun. It’s amazing how stupid these threads are and even more amazing that MS doesn’t care.
Forgot the replies from both the original requester as well as a number of other people who state this didn’t work at all, or isn’t remotely close to what they were asking. The 7 people who marked this as helpful must be other Microsoft “experts” giving their own useless help. And what I really love is how if I get to this page a simple back click won’t get me out, I have to pull down the history to go back to the search page because they have a reload loop built in to trap you.
Hitting back 2 times in quick succession usually gets me out. Still annoying.
And what I really love is how if I get to this page a simple back click won’t get me out, I have to pull down the history to go back to the search page because they have a reload loop built in to trap you.
Hi there, thanks for your question.
I’m a volunteer helper answering questions on behalf of Microsoft. I will endeavor to do my best to get to the bottom of your problem. To break free from the reload loop, you’ll need to format your hard drive and install Linux. You’ll still get stuck in loops, because this in no way changes how webpages work, but it will put you one step ahead of all these other poor assholes asking for help on Microsoft Support Forums.
Please mark this reply as helpful so I’ll get more MicroCents so I can one day buy my freedom from the licensing subscriptions I’m forced to pay for so I can keep using stuff I already bought.
Usually it goes like this:
”Hey I have this problem. I tried this solution, but it didn’t work. Any ideas?”
”The fix is easy: just do the thing you said you already done”
And then radio silence.
Hello madam,
My name is Bobson Dugnutt and I am a third-party contractor with Microsoft Support. I will be assiduous to help with you today.
I’m sorry, this feature is not planned at this time. You don’t need to be able to do that. Bitch ass.
If this review was helpful, please click “Helpful” and vote 5 and tell my supervisor by filling out this brief survey and send a feedback email to our support centerfollow me an LinkedIn and come to my birthday party and be my friend. Thank you please.
Upvoted for Bobson Dugnutt
“Help! My computer is slow after an update.”
“Try reinstalling window and reformatting you drive”
“Help I can’t find my documents!”
Dont forget sfc /scannow
everyone loves sfc /scannow
What does that even do? I’ve used it many times.
Not even Microsoft knows.
*cricket noises* closed as resolved
For me, someone who uses a Mac for work but still has to use the office environment, it goes something like this:
Google the issue
Google the issue + office for Mac
Find a forum about the exact issue I’m having
Loads of people commenting having the same issue
Expert answers and says “That feature is not available for Macs at this time. How about you post it as a suggestion for the devs at this link here>>>”
Post is minimum 3 years old and there’s still no solution.
Gee thanks.
