A good friend (platonic relationship) is someone I can see every day, talk to about anything, and I want them in my life regularly. I personally cannot spend 100% all my time with someone who is just a good friend.

A romantic relationship is a good friend who I can live with and want to share a blanket and cuddle with at the end of the day. It’s someone I might want to hold hands with, kiss, or sleep with. It’s someone I want to come home to at the end of a good day to share good news, or end of a bad day to make it better.

A sexual relationship is someone I want to kiss and have sex with.

There are overlap. Romantic friends and friends with benefits are pretty common terms. Having a romantic relationship with sexual interest often ends up in bad relationships; I’ve heard this described as “feels like it should work” or “I loved them but I didn’t like them.”

I think this is all personal preferences, but by default many times with an SO you usually are both building towards a common goal together to cement your future together. Again, I’m sure that’s not the case for everyone but I am just speaking generally.

With a “very good friend” that might not necessarily be the case - but these lines can all get very fuzzy depending on people’s outlooks, perspectives, wants etc.

I probably haven’t given you much clarity here but I also think many people have wrestled with at one point or another in the dating world.

An SO will align their goals with you. A best friend may find another goal in life and go off on their own. A friend isn’t tied to you, and you’d support them if they ‘leave’ you to seek their own fortune. A partner stays with you and you and they need to find ways to reach your goals together. There’s a stability and security to a partner that you don’t get, no matter how close your friend is.

This is an interesting question. My husband is my ONE. Wherever he is, that’s home. We are absolutely best friends & more. We share absolutely everything & neither of us ever have to worry about the other one waking up one day & deciding to move on without the other.

I realize I’m lucky. Not every relationship is anywhere close to that. I was married before & lived with others… And I thought the “one true love” stuff & long-term monogamy was complete BS until he & I got together.

But not everyone wants the kind of relationship we have & that’s fine too. I have plenty of independent & awesome friends who have great friends, great lives, great hobbies; they adventure, travel, are fulfilled, etc etc all without an SO. Others who are in great relationships but are much more prone to doing things separately, and that’s what works for them.

So maybe if you don’t have that drive to find that relationship, maybe it’s not for you or maybe you just haven’t met the right kind of person yet. Your SO relationship can ultimately be whatever you want it to be, provided you find a partner agreeable with it. Best wishes either way!

My wife says she got to marry her best friend, and I say that I get to bang my best friend whenever we want.

In my eyes that distingueshes a “normal” friendship and a life partner is the planning for the future and being a team. You make big life decisions (moving house, career changes, medical decisions) together thinking of the best outcomes for both as a team. You could be a life partner with a non romantic totally platonic friend, but that’s usually not the case you see represented.

You’re overthinking it. It starts as good friends and grows from there. You don’t have to know how it works right now. Just find someone who you work well with and go from there.

You get a teammate for your battles against the world, and benefits.

Yeah, I’d say SO generally are like great friends (with benefits), but often, over time you end up doing so much stuff with them that they eclipse any other individual friend. And eventually (especially if you end up living together) they become such a part of your day to day life they can begin to feel like an extension of yourself (or rather, that you’re both part of one being) and it’s hard to live with out them. I remember laughing at my dad for wanting to phone my mum everyday when he was away on business. I’d be like “what do you even have to talk about? You see each other all the time” But now, if I had a day where I didn’t at least message with my partner I’d feel so isolated.

I’m wondering if you might find these a helpful starting point:

https://breezewiki.com/lgbtqia/wiki/Aromantic

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queerplatonic_relationship

(or not, sorry if I’m misunderstanding and just confusing you further)

Intimacy, whether its shared via sex with a partner or deep connection via friendship, manifests much stronger and more complex emotions.

Things you wouldnt care about become more important. Do i have this persons trust, do they love me back, why do they do that one thing with their teeth?!

My wife is different than my friends because we literally live together. All decisions are made with the both of us in mind. As a result, we know each other better than just about anyone else, and that level of emotional intimacy is tough to find anywhere else. Don’t get me wrong, I have a few very good friends as well, but I don’t talk about the same things with them as I do my wife.

Having an honest to God companion to share the ups and downs in life is amazing. The ups are sublime, the downs help us both be more introspective and end up bettering ourselves.

It’s very exclusive and more intimate physically and emotionally than a good friend. That’s my interpretation anyway.

besides you know what). And should it be?

We’re adults here. You can say the word sex on the internet, and yes.

To me, it seems like you may not be the type of person that feels like they need intimacy. If you want it, however, then that should be ok too. That is a major difference (for many) in people who are in relationships, and people who are just good friends. It’s not the sole defining characteristic, no, but a big one none-the-less.

…they just want a one particular friend with benefits

Why can’t it be both though? I think there’s nothing wrong with that, in my mind. I suppose a big consideration would be if you live together or not, or want to/plan to.

Another thing to consider is that SO relationships are typically seen as more static/permanent while good friends are considered more dynamic/fleeting.

In my experience, relationships (all relationships) are more dynamic than static. Realities of our mortality.

I don’t try to fuck my friends hah. I can sit for hours with my SO and not utter a word and just do my shit. I don’t have to be on and allowed to be irritable.

This is an interesting question. In my opinion, romance, true romance, is built over time through consistent effort. Nobody truly loves someone the moment they see that person. Anyone who thinks that they fell in love at first sight, well, I call that puppy love. It’s the kind of “love” that middle school children engage in.

I think that distinction doesn’t get emphasized enough. And all the romance movies that glorify “passionate love” aren’t helping. If you were to ask me, true love is what’s left after the passion has died out. I know some people describe it as being like a best friend. I won’t necessarily say that it’s wrong, since it’s a pretty close approximation. But I don’t think that’s the full picture.

Have you ever lived with a roommate? A lot of it is about balancing each person’s wants and compromising. A lot of it is about forming a strong system of habits that won’t anger the other person. Who does the dishes? Who takes out the trash? Who keeps track of groceries? What do you do if the other person is upset? Even down to simple things, like what to do if you and the other person can’t agree on what to eat. If you had a roommate at any point in your life, you’d probably understand what I mean. Having an SO is essentially like that, but much harder, because you’re sharing many more things than with just a roommate. In my opinion, true love is about aiming to set up that equilibrium where both people enjoy living with the other person.

To summarize, if you were given a choice between living with your SO or living alone, and you end up preferring to live with your SO, then I would consider that true love.