Fuck preordering

I feel like I was completely ripped off. This game is nothing like promised, and I can’t believe how many people seem to be okay with that.

There are more issues than I have the patience to type, so here are just a few of the most egregious.

Graphics. The graphics are nowhere near modern. They are basic colors and sometimes pretty blocky. It almost looks like graphics from a game over 30 years old. This is unacceptable.

Spaceship flight mechanics. There are none. In fact, I have yet to see ANY spaceships in this game. So far, it’s 100% on foot.

First-person gameplay. Not very realistic, but kind of satisfying. There’s a lot of jumping and numerous enemies to avoid. They get a little repetitive, but are enough to hold interest. Some have loot that can give your character special abilities like flying with a raccoon tail, breathing underwater like a frog, or even throwing fireballs.

Character creation. This is virtually non-existent. In fact, I don’t think I was ever asked to review my character. I tried restarting a few times and every time I’m automatically set as some guy in red with a moustache. I did find a multiplayer option, but that just gives a green variant.

I’m thinking of refunding this game as it is nothing like what Todd Howard promised.

deleted by creator

“Graphics card not supported.”

Find out I have to update Windows.

Hadn’t updated since around 2018 and everything worked fine, but OK, fine, let’s try it.

Can’t figure out how to reenable Windows update (it kept trying to come back, like a dog swallowing and revomiting its own puke, so at some point I’d disabled it with extreme prejudice, and it seems it stuck).

Manage to find a Microsoft tool that’ll update Windows 10 to the latest version without going through Windows update.

Upgrade assistant does its thing and at seventy-something percent complains VirtualBox isn’t compatible and must be uninstalled. Yeah, not doing that, got my family’s mail server in there. I was only 2 major versions behind, shouldn’t’ve been a problem, but all right, have it your way.

Update VirtualBox, looks like Upgrade assistant is finally happy, after a couple aeons Windows is updated.

“Graphics card not supported.” Fuck. You.

Update graphics drivers (couple more aeons; in for a penny, in for a pounding).

While Nvidia does its thing, try to start the VMs in the new version of VirtualBox. “Can’t start operating system”. Well, fuck.

Eventually figure out that at some point around version 6 VHD support got fubared and Oracle never fixed it. This is why I don’t update.

Start converting VHD disks to VDIs, which should fix it. What’s a few more aeons between friends.

While I’m at it the drivers finish updating. Try to start the game again, third time’s the charm.

Fans reach take off speed! Main screen goes black! Logos start showing! It lives!

“Compiling 1 of 7000 shaders”

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

System grinds to a halt. Finally manage to open program manager and kill the game. Probably shouldn’t have started it while I was migrating the virtual disks. (The fact that it’s a 980ti probably doesn’t help either, but hey, it’s worked perfectly till now, including with Cyberpunk 2077 and Baldur’s Gate 3, and by jingo it’ll work with Starfield).

“It just works.”

Anyway, meanwhile the disks finish migrating, and at least now the VMs work. Update the VirtualBox extensions just to be sure, reboot the VM…

Black screen.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Find out at some point the display drivers got fubared for Windows 2003 / XP and Oracle never fixed it. Manage to start the VM in safe mode and uninstall the VirtualBox extensions; after fixing the display settings, it sort of works again. Yay. Second VM is staying with v5.x extensions, thank you very much.

Say what you want about Bethesda (they almost certainly deserve it), but at least they ain’t Oracle.

Sigh.

Gonna eat something, relax a bit, and leave the game to compile shaders while I sleep.

With luck, tomorrow it’ll be done, and it’ll just work.

Y’all I thought we agreed as a society to not preorder anymore?