I once got passed by two speeding DeLoreans. I ended up catching up to them when we all hit a traffic jam.
I once got passed by two speeding DeLoreans. I ended up catching up to them when we all hit a traffic jam.
You win a free trip to the Hague
If it makes you feel any better that horse wasn’t the one that killed him
Monkey’s paw: your teeth would also be as sensitive as the head of a penis
I’m already 2 years older than Mozart was when he died, the fuck am I even doing with my life
This reminds me of how I used to eat a spoonful of chunky peanut butter and then add a glug of maple syrup
But I can still keep the dinosaur, right?
Xande: oh HELL no
Damn dude, save some pussy for the rest of us
About 10 years ago someone actually burned to death from static discharge at a gas pump like 2 miles down the road from my house. It’s extremely rare, but it does happen.
“You guys are still staffing window 1?”
I’m sorry your ice cream doesn’t have any sugar in it
If your girl wears a pickelhaube and united the German states, that’s not your girl
12/10
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
Normalize constructing an ominous orb completely out of obsidian and placing it in the San Francisco Bay.
Dehydration was never an option