I don’t exhale, rather I just close off my airway to stop the big inhale. It sounds super uncomfortable to try exhaling at that point, but with some practice I have been able to stop the inhale and that mutes the sneeze considerably. Also, I can plug my nose when I feel it start to tickle and stop the sneeze entirely.

The italics are a nice hint. Good Poe’s Law submission.

I got that advice as well – the explanation given to me was that it’s almost always used incorrectly, so just be safe and don’t. However, I like the way it makes writing more closely resemble natural speech; we usually talk in conjoined clauses rather than complete sentences.

I’ve been trying to get the semicolon to take off; haven’t had much luck though.

But following the surface of a sphere causes you to constantly change direction

I think you’ve generalized a bit too much. The gender-swapped format was not created for this exact meme, it’s just a jovial commentary on male stereotypes women find unappealing. In this case, the joke isn’t that she saw a stack of random games, they’re all FIFA – did you maybe not notice that? The annoying male FIFA player is a pretty well-established meme at this point.

A fellow opposum!

Mine is sate vs satiate

It’s the NYT Mini

I fucking love beans

That’s so cute, I can’t. Thanks for paying your taxes on time.

That’s the intended effect – a condescending dismissal of being condescendingly dismissed. Not much you can say to a clear sign of disengagement.

You could go for unst and drop sick rave beats

unst unst unst

I thought it was bot spam

You just made an inefficient evaporative purifier!

There’s a fundamental misunderstanding; the original commenter didn’t mean to use the line-style “queue” meaning, they were using it by mistake and even admitted that in a follow-on comment. They meant “cue” by its distinct definition, not the one that overlapped with “queue” long ago. It wasn’t a spelling correction – it was a homophone correction. It wasn’t a suggestion to queue up some Mitch Hedberg on yt, it was a cue for him to enter because one of his trademark jokes is about escalators.

Fundamental Attribution Error

It matters from a cause-and-effect standpoint, but you’re callously and self-righteously blaming their whole situation on it. That you stop trying to understand the situation at that point reveals that you’re using it as an excuse to blame peoples’ suffering exclusively on their personal choices to feel better about yourself. That completely ignores any circumstances, predatory draws, nonstandard brain chemistry, or other factors outside of their control and assume they had perfect, complete knowledge of the situation and consequences at the time – which is honestly silly.

How feasible is it to interact with your bank or other necessary services in a browser vs using the play store app? I can see LineageOS being viable if you can make such a transition.

Understanding that you probably paraphrased for brevity, it’s hard to respond with anything helpful because only you know where the goalposts of, “actually works,” are – same thing with, “reliable push messages,” and, “works for banking.” I’ve used swipe input on the native Samsung keyboard and SwiftKey and found that they work just fine, but not as good as GBoard. If you’re going from a Google-invested product to pretty much anything else, it’s likely going to be a worse user experience, so you just have to set your expectations appropriately and keep in mind that what you’re getting in return for that is intangible but important.

What have you tried so far, and how have they failed you with respect to the metrics you’ve stated?