• 458 Posts
  • 416 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 14th, 2023

help-circle


  • Our family was on a road trip, and I made tuna salad sandwiches in the morning. We ended up never stopping for lunch, and in the evening I went to throw away the sandwiches. “They can’t be that bad,” said my husband, “you only made them this morning.” I gave him a “really?” look and continued to throw the sandwiches away.

    Apparently this made my usually intelligent and science-minded husband eager to play the tuna roulette. He grabbed a sandwich and took a small bite “see, they are fine!” I called him crazy and threw the rest away. “You’re going to regret that,” I said.

    The next morning, we are getting ready to drive to Bandolier National Monument, about a 45-min drive from our hotel. Everything is fine, my husband is driving. All of a sudden, he says “Shit.”

    “What is it, baby?” “I need to go. Like, right now.”

    He ends up crouching behind a lone scraggly tree next to the road while pooping pure shit water. The rest of his family pass us by in their other two cars. One of them stops as he wildly gestures for them to keep going. They finally get the hint and leave.

    Yeah, we never made it to Bandolier that day. But he only had to shit one more time by the road on the way back to the hotel, so that was a win.

    He has since agreed that my food safety knowledge is superior and developed a healthy respect for mayonnaise’s ability to ruin a fun day.


  • Heights. There was some movie or show where people were hanging from a skyscraper window after an earthquake, and I regularly have vivid nightmares about it. It’s not to the point of a phobia but a really strong fear. I went up the Seattle space needle with my husband, and he was clowning against the glass while I was only able to stay in the middle. Had nightmares about him falling or me falling off it ever since.

















  • I’m going to tell a story on behalf of my husband.

    He was 13 and in Boy Scouts. Their troop was told that some older scouts went missing and the troop had to look for them. They formed patrols and were searching for over 3 hours when the leaders said that the older scouts were located; one of them was disemboweled and needed a medical helicopter to come from Denver. That was the “oh, crap!” moment…

    Turns out the whole thing was staged. No one ever went missing. They just wanted the troop to learn how to do search and rescue. There were younger scouts there who were crying and terrified, definitely scarred by the experience.

    And that’s how things were done back in the 80s.