I’m slowly learning to be less hard on myself about it. My friends tell me I sabotage myself by trying too hard due to some not great beliefs about myself (that each “failure” in dating then serves to reinforce) so I’m trying to take their advice, scale that back, and just focus on making new friends for now. I’ll have to see how it goes for my mental health and I’m turn ability to not self sabotage over time but it feels like a better approach than my previous obsessively browsing 5 different apps for hours a day desperate for a match at least
I’m just shelving online dating entirely for now. In months of obsessive swiping, it didn’t really go anywhere and overall just made me feel worse. At the very least meeting and making friends in person will have positives that online dating or online friending don’t have because dating apps are honestly kind of toxic to actually meeting people even if trying to do it for friends. I just didn’t know what else to try because I didn’t know how else to meet people but I found some options now.