Sure no pressure!

You are right, it could be read that way from the title. But from the content it becomes pretty clear that the section of the universe called the “Open Web” was deserted in this world decades ago and no one is there.

Thanks. So nice to hear some feedback <3

You are right about the story. I crafted the whole thing a bit more hasty than the last ones. It should be longer and have an actual story and maybe some new characters. I also need to improve my writing. I tried a more playful style for this one, because its adventerous and so on, but its too inconsistent.

I’m thinking about extending and re-writing it, but am not sure if I will find the time. Thanks anyways :)

Its meant in the sense: better build communities in the fediverse rather than on Mars. Its a pun on “Colonize Mars”

Yeah, probably. So you like the story in general its just too much going on?

Ok, I wrote most of it myself, for parts 2-5 I used some generated stuff as well. I think its fine to use AI as help for inspiration and to get a start. But the first part (Spring) I wrote completely myself. Its actually a few years old by now.

Its fine. Honest feedback is always good. Have to see what I can do about the format

I’ll be honest, I only made it halfway into the first paragraph. Such as they are, the thin paragraphs coupled with multiple-screens-no-formatting length makes it impossible to follow the text

That’s unfortunate. I will try to fix it. The WriteFreely-Server I used keeps crashing so I switched to Wordpress …

plus at least from the first paragraph it reads like generated AI nonsense.

I wrote it myself :D But its fine. I hoped it would be fun to read.

Is that the point, though? As in, is this my wooooosh-moment? Is this supposed to say that the Fediverse is too difficult to consume and makes no sense at first?

No, it shouldn’t :( It should just be fantasy/magic realism

Thanks for the feedback.

I really enjoyed that! I think the first section was the strongest to me personally – it was more grounded in real events, while some of the other sections lost some of their power by becomming too abstract. I did enjoy the aspect of different interconnected characters setting up eachothers stories.

I totally get that. Thing is I wanted to depict some of the drama from the Fediverse in there and then you have to necessarily get a little abstract. I tried to include some of the drama happening here on Lemmy, however, its still not as exciting as I would hope it to be.

I went ahead and shared it in my solarpunk bookclub, hopefully some more people will give it a read through!

That’s great!

Also it might be worth crossposting to a solarpunk community, it really fits the vibe :)

Will do, will do