I’m tryna penetrative. Slide smooth into them cheeks… so hell it is.

My now wife hid them from me for about 3 or 4 months. She’s more flatulent than me. Always to think about how hush hush it has to be before everything comes out. I farted in front of her within days of our first kiss.

To an extent this is my marriage. My wife and I both own our own companies. Mine is much more established and therefore offers me some leeway on my in office time (I’m an accountant). This means I often spend more time taking care of our children. I also cook, make grocery store trips, clean (to an extent), etc. She still helps around the house which isn’t ad much as it used to be. But I see her working her ass off so I don’t complain.

As for protecting me…no. I’m a pretty large dude. 6’3" 250. So unfortunately when things go bump in the night ya boi gets to go investigate.

Girl’s, how long have you been holding that fart?

This is a semi spicy take but hear me out. He went on for like 5 albums about what a lonely piece of shit he was and that no one loved him and he was a horrible person. He even alludes to being a predator in Science Fiction. I think the song is called, “in the water.” While I would never condone what he did, his actions, in a way validate his music. Something that was often in doubt for me in that genre.

The line I’m referring too is, “hide your daughters, the old men say. We were young once before, we know how we get our way.”

I went to an Indian restaurant a long time ago with two coworkers on lunch. The waiter asked me how hot I wanted to which I responded, “just medium I have to go back to work.” It was chicken vindaloo and it was the hottest shit I’d ever eaten and enjoyed. I was sweating really bad but it was so good. I barely made it back to the office before I had to start shitting.

I go back on a Friday after work. I tell the same guy, make it as hot as you can. It wasn’t nearly as hot as it was that day. I was mad disappointed. Still really good but I wanted it to melt my face like the end of Indiana Jones. Still burned my asshole that way. Defifinite 5/7. Would recommend.

So Isaac Brock has been right for like 20 years? “The universe is shaped exactly like the earth. If you go straight long enough you end up where you were.”

Dirt rally 2.0 and house of dragons. Could get spicy.