It should have been a flying whale.

Oh, some of them need laughed or yelled at, for certain.

I, however, need continued employment.

Poker face.

No matter what I am thinking internally, it does not show externally. Essential skill for customer service.

A Toyota embedded, like a javelin, 6 feet off the ground in the side of an abandoned building.

They made the first 90° turn of a dog-leg, but missed the second and, with the help of a ditch, launched into the air at the building.

All I can here now is the song “Stress” by Jim’s Big Ego.

Coworker of mine was handling hardware returns for our main data center. There were two issues with this: It wasn’t his job and he never told anyone about it. Work fired him during his vacation because they saw he wasn’t completing his assignments, but never asked him for reasons.

Six months later, the company got hit with over 200k in service plan renewals for hardware we no longer used.

So I did the tuxedo thing when I left a job. Security wanted photos.

I told security that there are only two ways to leave if you know it’s going to be your last day: Head held high and dressed to the nines, or carried out by as many security guards as possible.

They thanked me for choosing the former.

Congratulations on your promotion!

Oh, I thought you got promoted to my command chain.

This new version of them was not someone I could hate.

We were completely new people, so it felt like the “us” from before were gone. There was no need to hold onto any of the hate.

I met one during college. We were both very different people by then and went out for lunch.

While there were no apologies (there were lines crossed by both of us), there was closure.

There was a post a few weeks ago referring to seals as “300kg cats with the emotional stability of a toddler and the morals of a seagull.”

So… yeah.

I have gastroparesis, which means that I’ve been leaning on these pretty heavily of late. I don’t yet have a favorite, really, but the premade Soylent is rather filling. My biggest issue with all of them has be the sugar content.

For a second I thought the next Pokémon game went Grimdark.

Olaf Scholz