When he dies you’re gonna miss that shit. I’d reccomend saving a couple of those voicemails.

Stupid questions.

More tires?

Cattle will stampede if you piss them off enough.

That’ll work perfectly with the contacts I already have saved.

“Survival preppers” lol. My year worth of food and water made the pandemic extremely un stressful for me. I did miss toilet paper tho.

Jesus! Do you have a Butler to wipe your ass for you too?

This is my favorite emoji 🖕🏻

I was gonna hang one off my rearview mirror.

Coup. COUP! It’s not a fucking chicken house!

Nice! What’s the car?

My company, which is pretty generous (by US standards) gives us 8 paid sick days per year. Up until this year we got unlimited after that with a doctors note (unpaid, bit you wouldn’t get fired for it.) This year they stopped accepting doctor notes, so if you rub out of sick time, tough shit. BUT if you’re out for over a week, FMLA or disability or some shit like that kicks in, and there ain’t fuck all they can do about it lol. And THAT shit is paid. I have a feeling they’re gonna rethink the doctors note thing next year lol.

It also gums the fuck out of fuel injectors, and you’ll notice a drop in gas mileage Dependant on the blend. Its pretty awful shit. I don’t know why the hell it exists.

I got curious so I duckduckgo’d that shit.

Link

Jesus dude, you should go join the IDF, you’d fit right in.

Walmart near me had a sale on black denim jackets for like 10 bucks each. I bought all they had in my size lol.

Heyyyayay! Come out and play!

Excuse the fuck out of me for not having a whole separate room for that.

You have a hallway? Fuck you!

What if you aint got a “mudroom?” Whatever that even is… Check your privilege.