• 0 Posts
  • 93 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 10th, 2023

help-circle






  • I don’t think it’s as simple as coming down to choice. Planning, shopping, cooking, and cleaning takes a non-trivial amount of time and effort that not every person can afford even if they can afford ingredients. It’s not uncommon for people in the city to come home exhausted after 70 hours work week and hour long commutes.

    Sometimes it’s not physically or mentally possible to sustain the kind of min-maxing lifestyle of cooking under a tight budget. Cooking is hard, cooking affordably is even harder. Sometimes, having a steak for dinner is one of the few things that keeps people happy enough to not kill themselves in an exploitative work culture while being crushed by unaffordable housing.

    I don’t think OP is necessary overspending because it really depends on where they live, how many hours they work, what their living situation is like, how much of their own mental load they carry.

    I’ve lived on a tight budget before. For a time I made do with $30 a week in an expensive town, albeit almost a decade ago. I skimmed on everything I could and bought as many $1 bags of spoiled vegetables as I could, trimmed off all the moldy parts, and just made whatever vegetable soup I could every week. This is one of like 50 other things I had to do to get by. And it wasn’t great for my mental health. It sucked to have to spend so much time and energy when I had so few hours left in a day to do all this.

    Living cheap has a cost too. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that OP is necessary choosing to waste money when we don’t know where they live or what else is going on in their life.




  • Like I said, this was something I’ve observed across public schools without and without uniforms, and they were of similar socioeconomic backgrounds.

    I think we are going in circles here. You seem to be adamant in your stance of “I didn’t see the bullying and therefore it wasn’t a problem”. I can’t convince you that a problem exists if this stance overrides any evidence presented to you.

    The best I can do is make my point and hope that someone else can empathize with it. Have a nice day.


  • Have you been to both schools that have a uniform and schools that do not? I feel that a lot of people in this thread are speaking from one side of their experiences without regard for the other and then claiming it is some kind of propaganda. I don’t know what you want me and others to say other than that we’re not paid by Big Uniform to say anything.

    I’ve unfortunately been to more schools than I’d like to, and there is a stark behavioral contrast in ones that do have a uniform, especially for public schools. The only ‘individuality’ that students are stripped of is the frequency of bullying, knife fights, truancy, and other behavioral problems. People in uniforms are just less of a jerk and more of a member of the school community. I’m not sure what phenomenon in behavioral science this is, but people are easier to discipline in uniform and it shows.


  • I’m giving school uniforms the appropriate amount of credit based on my own experiences with it. Like I said, not every school I went to required one, so I didn’t have to change uniforms every time. For the schools that did, I often bought mine discounted or second hand, and still I’ve yet to be bullied about my clothing compared to when I only had my dilapidated wardrobe that made me stick out like a sore thumb in schools without uniforms.

    You say you ‘totally understand’ in one breath, and then tell me in another how you’ve only seen it once which means that uniforms cleaely don’t matter. Have you ever been a school that wears uniforms before? I feel that we live in two different worlds here and I’m not so sure that you see the big picture.

    I’ve been the new student more times than I’ve wanted to, and there were a myriad of things to be bullied about each time. I’ve been consistently bullied less often in schools that have a uniform, regardless of the topic. This is particularly true among American schools, which often did not have a uniform. The one that did (a public charter school), had far fewer bullies. You could argue that this is correlation and not causation, but that’s hard to believe when I’ve been repeated bullied for my clothing. The only additional ‘individuality’ I’ve seen in these people is the unearned confidence to say what ever they’d like about other people with no qualms about their feelings.

    For the vast majority of the world, uniforms are the norm and even mandatory in many countries. Ironically, most school systems allowed me to choose my own backpack and only US public schools require specifically transparent backpacks due to mass shootings. It’s just wild the things this country would sacrifice in the name of individual freedom.

    Uniforms aren’t the infringement on individuality people think they are. If it were true, most people in the world would have no individuality because they have uniforms. There is a reason why schools, hospitals, soldiers, and prisons have uniforms and it’s not just to look good, it’s to legitimize an institution and instill discipline. Schools with poor discipline is where rampant behaviorial issues develop. When schools are already understaffed and underfunded, the lack of a uniform makes it even harder to keep students in line. When students wear uniforms, their individuality stops being just about how they look and starts being about how they want to be perceived by others through their actions.


  • I think you are making a blanket statement about uniform systems and attributing all the bad things from a few to all of them. Uniform systems come in many varieties including gendered/ungendered, seasonal, school supplied/outsourced/local distributors, half uniforms (assigned shirt with unassigned but color coded pants), optional outerwear, regulations on haircut/makeup/accessories, and more.

    Bullying absolutely happens to people who are not as well dressed, particularly people who have to wear the same days several days in a row in the absence of a uniform code. It may not have happened to you, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t for others. I would know because I spent a good 5 years living on just two suitcases drifting from home to home, and my limited and undersized wardrobe was often a point of ridicule.

    Saying “there will always be something to bully” as a counterpoint to how bullies will always find something to bully is pretty dismissive to how much it hurts to be bullied for one’s appearances. If you think that what you wear makes no difference to bullies, try wearing a clownsuit to school everyday. It’s like you’re saying “bullies will bully you anyway, so why not give them one more thing to bully you about?”

    I get that being bullied for your clothes may not look a big deal to you because you’re a grown adult. But that’s not how many teenage minds work. Small things like that can be detrimental to their self esteem.


  • Uniforms are not exactly a conservative idea. You could argue that it is a return to tradition, but uniforms are functionally more progressive if anything.

    I have been to, no joke, over a dozen schools in several countries, some with uniforms and some without, and I find uniforms to be a far better option. Yes, uniforms aren’t cheap and you don’t get to pick what to wear, but I here are some reasons why it is still very worth it:

    1. There is no pressure to dress well compared to peers, especially if they can’t afford to
    2. Kids are less likely to be bullied for what they wear
    3. Kids don’t have expend mental energy in the morning figuring out what to wear
    4. Uniforms are generally less restrive and more comfortable than what is currently in style
    5. It’s optionally a form of gender expression for young trans folks (in open minded schools)
    6. Wardrobe malfunctions can be resolved at school sometimes
    7. Kids can reuse hand-me-downs from siblings going to the same schools
    8. A sense of community among peers, especially when they recognize each other outside of school
    9. Helps with body image because uniforms generally obscures people’s silhouettes to the same degree, so there is less pressure to look a certain way





  • Try going door to door convincing people or something or just stop fucking complaining all the time holy shit.

    Are you the one guy who tries to walk up to corporate front desks with a resume and firm handshake, loudly asks for a job, only to realize how out of touch you are 3 after the receptionist tells you applications are all online now?


  • This is part of the problem of our current political climate. I don’t know how you can constitute ‘not bullying’ as ‘accepting them’, but the complete lack of nuance in every conversation is what drives radicalization.

    You can’t ‘bully’ transphobes into being an ally. That’s not how people work.

    I get it. Transphobes are pieces of shit with the most punchable faces. But when you find yourself staring down into one, you need to ask yourself if you are going say what feels good and right to you, or what will make them just a little less transphobic to the next trans person they meet.

    Deradicalization doesn’t happen overnight. It may take transphobes a hundred, ten, or even just one trans person to show them undeserved kindness before they realize they were wrong.

    I’m not saying it’s anyone’s job to do this. I’m saying that sometimes, maybe a trans person or an ally may be having a good day and find it in themselves to deal with transphobic bullshit just to show transphobes that they are the better person. If they do, I’m saying that we shouldn’t ruin all the progress and emotional labor they’ve invested in by bullying the transphobe.