Should have released this article yesterday, I did them at midnight.

Oh, so Jesus just had one nut, the Holy Ghost had the other one, and God obviously had the Heavenly Shaft. Got it.

Jesus and God are two different entities, we were discussing “The Father”.

Well God, that’s pretty sexist. You don’t need a penis to pee.

Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn’t consume anything he didn’t need.

I’ve always preferred Geri’s Game anyway

I’m playing a lot of pinball, but that really hasn’t changed.

Hush puppies? Not really a main dish, but idk.

Yeah, that’s the quintessential dad joke, which they spun to match the monster theme.

“Suspension of plot or conclusion” are not really “things” at all, much less defining characteristics of humor. You just don’t get it, and that’s ok! It doesn’t make you less than or anything.

Dead/dad

Edit: “good-bite” is a pun too

Oh for sure, they don’t even flash unless you have one with the emergency mode.

It’s funny because you don’t expect kids to want there to be monsters under their beds. Typically, or rather trope-ically, children ask their parents to make sure there are no monsters under their beds and at first it would appear the same is true here. However, the child and parent themselves appear ghoulish, and when it’s revealed that there is in fact a monster under the bed, ostensibly the father as it is similarly ghoulish and tells a pretty decent double-layer dad joke, the child is relieved. It’s irony! And puns. And just good Halloween vibes, which I admit aren’t inherently humorous. But I’d argue they are almost always inherently light-hearted. I give it 9/10, especially compared to a lot of the shit I see posted around here.

It’s called a flashlight, or a “torch” in more primitive parts of the world…jk UK, love you crazy kooks.

Especially when I’m trying to catch walleye

That’s the punchline I learned too, definitely hits harder imo.

fourwordsalluppercase

Stress and anxiety often manifest physically, best-case-scenario is it’s just the metaphysical weight of their wretched deeds literally destroying their bodies.

Shouldn’t this be proof that the change was really inside her all along? How does she know they’re not lying to cover-up for the fact that they got Bigfeet walking around?

But why would that lead her to sue the park for saying it was a bear? Seems unrelated.