Cats will often show you their belly as a sign of trust, as it makes them vulnerable. Some cats love to have their bellies rubbed, others view it as a breach of trust and will shred you, even though they flopped over. If it’s a cat you don’t know, the best thing is to just reach down and scratch the top of their head around the ears. If you want to see how far you can push it, give them scritches under the chin, move down to the upper chest, and inch your way lower to see how far they’re okay with going.

Let me tell you, I’ve discovered the best way to meet people effortlessly (more or less). I’ve consumed a lot of dating content on youtube, and learned a lot in the process. One of the videos I watched ranked places to meet people, and two of the top places were dance class and run clubs. I’ve been doing both. I run with a couple of different run clubs, and while I enjoy getting a good workout in, run clubs haven’t been very productive for me to meet women. One of the things that I feel is hindering me in that regard is that I’m not a great runner and pretty slow. In general, women are attracted to high status men, and status is contextual. As a slow runner, my status in the running context isn’t very high, and I feel that as a consequence, the women I meet in that context aren’t seeing me as a good prospect. YMMV. That said, I have met people at run clubs, so you may wish to find one in your area.

Dancing classes, however, have been a gold mine. I started at the end of last August taking ballroom dancing lessons to dip my toes in the water. While there are some younger people, the median age at the ballroom dance class I take is about 65. While on the surface, that may not seem like a good environment, I stand out in it. I’m fit, good looking, and dress sharp, and women notice. Women understand much better than men that being attractive is not something that you are or are not, but rather something that you cultivate. Most men don’t do much to improve their appearance and as they age just let themselves go. As a consequence, I am hands-down the most attractive man that regularly attends class, and always have women vying for my attention. I am the “big fish” in a small pond, and to the extent there are women in that group I am interested in, I am definitely on their radar.

Dancing is particularly good for meeting people and fostering a romantic context, because it involves physical contact within your partner’s intimate zone. I chuckle when dating advice videos talk about “breaking the touch barrier”, because in the dancing context you’re basically holding hands with your arm around them, standing in their intimate zone from the outset.

In addition, the dancing context overlays strong gender roles. As a man, I am the “lead” and the woman is the “follow”, and I communicate with her with my body. As the song says:

Bodies in conversation

Use your imagination

I like it

When we dance

Even if you don’t meet anyone in dance class, you’re learning a valuable skill that can only help you in the competitive arena of dating. Think about it. You’ve seen videos of birds doing their mating dances, tail feathers flared out. The mating dance for humans is dancing.

While ballroom was my initial foray into dancing, swing dancing and the social dancing scene has been amazing for me. It’s hard to get really good quickly at ballroom dancing, as there are fewer opportunities to practice. None of the nightclubs in my city have “Tango Night” or “Foxtrot Night”, but a whole lot of them cater to various popular social dances, including salsa, cumbia, swing, etc. Where I am at, you can go out and meet people dancing almost any night of the week. Moreover, as a lead, if you are any good at all you’ll have attractive women lining up to dance with you. It’s more difficult to be a lead, so follows tend to outnumber leads. My current focus is on East Coast Swing and Lindy Hop, but I still do the ballroom dancing as well. It’s good to be well-rounded.

I cannot overstate how helpful dancing has been for me with respect to meeting women. After a prolonged period of social isolation while I worked on myself following my divorce, I went from a social circle of zero (I literally had no one in my life), to an enormous social circle, with fun events to attend several nights per week, and a wide array of dating prospects. I highly recommend it.

Thank you. I’m a bit of an outlier in a lot of ways, and I’m awaking to the fact that if I want to find the right person from me, I’m going to have to increase the volume of people I date, and probably the easiest way to do that would be to tackle online dating, so it’s probably in my future.

1000%

After 21 years of marriage and about 5 years of working on myself after divorce, I’m finally dipping my toes in the dating pool. Honestly, it’s not as bad as people make it out to be. I don’t use dating apps, as they weren’t around when I was previously single and I don’t see them as likely being effective for me. I’m 60, but good looking and extremely fit, most people assume I’m in my mid 40s, and I do a decent job of attracting interested women in their 30s and 40s. I feel that I’d be screened out by age on dating apps and not even seen by women in my target demographic, whereas in person I do really well. Overall, reentering the dating pool has been an interesting experience. One surprising thing is that women over 40 are much more forward with me than I’m used to. They ask me if I’m single, ask for my phone number, and even proposition me point blank at times. Overall, it’s been a very positive experience for me, and I feel like I do at least as well or better than I did in my youth (which was pretty good).

Context is everything. Sure, men are more aggressive and women will definitely get some unwanted attention. People often think that as a consequence, women don’t want to be approached by men in public. However, if you dig deeper, women don’t mind being approached, so long it is done by someone they want to be approached by. It is the reality captured by the “Hello, Human Resources” meme.

I think it may be a little more complex than this. I’m a man that was quite good looking in my youth. I got fat and ugly in middle age, and became invisible to women. Now, at 60, I’m in the best physical shape of my life, have largely recovered my looks, I dress nicely, and am blown away about how differently I am treated by women now, especially women over 40. I regularly get compliments about my appearance, and due to the halo effect I seem to collect compliments on nearly everything I do. Having been invisible to women for more than a decade, it feels a little strange to be showered with attention.

That said, not every woman wants the same thing from me, but they do all seem to want my attention, including married women, oddly enough. They want to feel pretty, feel desired, even if they aren’t going to act on those feelings. I frequently get women showing clear signs of interest (intentionally putting themselves in my orbit, mirroring my behavior, initiating physical touch, etc., etc.) in an effort to draw a response from me, even women who are not in a position to follow through on their actions. These are not women just being kind or benignly friendly. Here is one recent example. I was at a friend’s birthday party, and was approached by a woman I had met in dance class. She was moderately flirty during the the course of our conversation, and asked if I were seeing anyone, as she had noted seeing me regularly with one of my female friends. Our conversation ended with her stating that she was looking forward to seeing me in class. At the next class, she wore a sexy black cocktail dress, which was a bit out of character for her. For me, she was showing clear and unmistakable signs of interest. However, when talking, she mentions her husband in passing, which made me wonder what the hell was going on. I later learned that her husband is in the late stages of pancreatic cancer. My takeaway from this experience is that she was trying to elicit my interest to bask in the glow of my male attention, and that she probably isn’t looking to step out on him (which is something that I wouldn’t engage with).

In the last 6 months, I’ve had many other similar experiences, where women are definitely seeking my attention in circumstances where they have no intention of following through. It feels good to be desired, whether you are a man or a woman, and if a woman is constantly drawing romantic interest “accidentally”, it’s worth it for her to consider what energy she is putting out.

I live in San Diego, CA, which apart from a bit of rain in December and January, has really nice weather year round. They’ve been slowly upgrading the bike lanes to provide better isolation from cars. There’s still lots of room for improvement, but I bike most everywhere these days and it’s awesome. With e-bikes becoming so cheap and widespread, I can’t help but think better bike lanes would benefit a lot of people.

So, I’ve been learning swing dancing over the last few months, and as a consequence, I’m meeting a lot of new people. There is a girl I had run into and danced with a couple of times at different events, but don’t know her name. She dances well, but often “takes a beat” for herself, throwing in her own footwork, which is fine, even if it is a bit awkward and causes me as lead to have to adapt. I am just there to have fun, and I want my partners to have fun as well. Anyhow, I ran into her at a dance the other day and got her out on the floor. As we’re dancing, I noticed that she never makes eye contact with me, and it occurred to me that this girl might be on the autism spectrum. Intrigued, I start wondering if I can get her to make eye contact, and notice that she is studiously avoiding looking at me when I am looking at her. Throughout the song, our eyes were in a game of pursuit and evasion. As the song is winding up, I pull her into a cuddle for a side-lean dip finale, and I put my face about 6 inches or so from hers. There was no avoiding my gaze, and we lock eyes with full-frontal contact. There was a microsecond of tension, and then we burst out laughing as the song ended. It made my day and I know it made hers.

I use molasses to make water kefir, and saw that they sell bulk molasses for animals that is way cheaper. Didn’t have the nerve to pull the trigger though.

He looks blazed. Tell Koda to lay off the catnip!

Sunday Assembly is what you’re looking for.

That little seal point Siamese face poking out is adorable! Looks like the face at the bottom on the right is a sibling.

They have rich soil, a moderate climate, and an abundance of fresh water, so it is easy to grow food and raise livestock. They import virtually all their oil and gas. While the interconnected globalized world supplies a lot of what they use, if push came to shove and NZ were isolated the people would survive independent of the outside world, though there would be some challenges as thy learned to live without what they purchase from abroad.

Everything is relative. I currently live in Southern California in an area where the median home price is $930K USD ($1.565M NZD). A $1M NZD home is only $590K USD, which would be a “steal” here. Accordingly, housing, the biggest expense in the cost of living here, seems like a relative bargain in NZ.

Yes, other things may be a bit more expensive, but overall I’d be looking at a reduction in the cost of living. As far as “standard of living” goes, it depends on what you value. Personally, I love nature, the outdoors, and am an avid surfer and mountain biker. From my perspective NZ’s less crowded waves and spectacular natural beauty makes for a very attractive standard of living.

The challenge for me is that given my age (~60), I am not a preferred immigrant, so residency offers some challenges, as I am not yet to the point financially where I can spring for the golden visa (though I should be at that point in not too long of time). Accordingly, if I were to move there I’d have to implement other strategies. I’d probably start with a tourist visa to check it out and see if I wanted to live there, then perhaps enroll in some classes and apply for a student visa to buy more time.

Meh. “Friendly” is a relative term. While NZ may be swinging a bit towards the right these days (as opposed to when Ardern was PM), NZ has ranked choice voting, which mitigates some of the political polarity seen in places like the U.S. where things stratify into two camps. This tends to make political power more responsive to the people, so even if the current administration is favorable to Trump, as the U.S. slides off the rails I would expect the NZ government to step back.

“Hallooo!”

She looks like she’s clearly in need of a neck massager.

And how the cross is hidden in the 4th panel by the cleavage.

RealID is insufficient to confirm citizenship, yet a facial recognition app that is known to make errors is “definitive”? Sounds like racist bullshit to me.