glances into mirror
Oh.
Right.
…Shit.
This feels like a Mitch Hedberg joke.
I know this is a grumpy old man take, but I’ll never get over the fact that they decided to call these dastardly things “hoverboards.”
Blasphemy, says eight year-old me, having just watched Back to the Future: Part II and now obsessed with someday obtaining a floating skateboard.
When you turn 12 and promptly WAKE UP.
And so few good ones…
Ugh. Personal memory unlocked.
Years ago, when I was teaching English Lit, I was doing a whole short fiction unit on Bradbury. A terrible, TERRIBLE adaptation of “A Sound of Thunder” had just been dumped on DVD. I hadn’t watched it, but I used to screen films for my classes after teaching the texts they were adapted from. 9 times out of 10, the films were garbage, but it was an interesting way to study adaptation.
So I grabbed the dvd. And watched it for the first time alongside my students and had to physically hold in my anger. Guys, it’s that bad.
The best part was reading my students’ papers on the adaptation, which were mostly on the lines of “why is this a thing that exists” and “how can cgi dinosaurs look this bad” and “this movie has baboonlizards, why does this story need baboonlizards” and so on.
Of course, being a classroom, there was still the requisite one or two responses of “I liked the movie better than the story because it was a movie and I didn’t have to read.”
But yeah, don’t watch “A Sound of Thunder.” And if you do, go back in time and prevent yourself from doing it. It’s that important.
Boomhauer, for once in my life, I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.
pops another beer
Crypto-whatsit? Is that something from one of Bobby’s vid’ya games?
It’s a new form of money, Hank. VIRTUAL MONEY.
Well, excuse me, Dale, but here where I live, in the REAL WORLD, we already have a perfectly fine money. It’s called AMERICAN DOLLARS and it works just fine, I tell ya h’wat.
You say that now, Hank, but wait until the cyber-swarm-uprising of 2034 comes and replaces your precious “real world” with a virtualsphere so indiscernible from what you think you know as real! Wake up and see what’s coming on the horizon!
Can you see me kicking your ass on the horizon?
I’ll be honest with you. I very nearly did. Sorry. That’s on me.
Superintendent, I was just-- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
This has to be at DragonCon in Atlanta, right? That hotelin the background is just way too familiar.
Funny, I seem to remember this design dropping in 2015…
Sometimes you can lose but still win.
I saw a chicken today.
“Kept the glove though. Keeps my beer from cooling my hand…and keeps my hand from warming my beer. And it looks pretty BAD ASS.”
You know who else looks like a pig on a flatbed truck?
starts rhythmic clapping
HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY, HO-DEE-HOTEN-DAY-O! HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY…
FATTENING UP OUR TAAAAPE WOOOOORMS!