It is, I don’t go on Reddit anymore, it’s insanely toxic. I’ve gotten all I could’ve gotten from there anyway. I only use Lemmy nowadays.

Just pick an open one, that’s the easiest choice. No essays, no worrying about being denied, easy.

Just pick one, you’re thinking too hard. I just picked one that’s open because I didn’t want to write an essay about myself to prove my worth and get someone to accept me, because I know that there isn’t any reason why anyone would accept me over someone else (I’m a nobody). I hate the idea of someone else having to review my worth before being allowed to sign up, what a disgusting concept. “Oh it’s to stop spam 🤓” All the other sites have been dealing with Spam good enough without asking me to prove my worth to them, maybe the Fediverse should take some pointers from the big boys at Big tech, they seem to be doing better than you are when it comes to this.

Used to think that cis people normally think that they are girls or dislike their genitals, and that it was a phase I would grow out of. I didn’t, it just got worse and it was from browsing r/egg_irl and r/traa that made me realize that I was wrong and in-denial.

I don’t think it’s possible, I tried with some people who I thought were close friends but when they found out I was trans they disowned and bullied me.

I used to wear hoodies a lot because it would cover up my body and help with the dysphoria. I still like them because they’re warm and comfortable, but unlike back then I don’t wear them in the summer when it’s blazing hot out. Other than that I don’t have much preferences, I just wear generic clothes.

I was called a freak by my mother and father who told me I would never be a woman, that I’m a man pretending to be a woman. That I was destroying my body by doing HRT. Average shit from right-wing parents. And they wonder why I don’t talk to them anymore. Maybe your daughter hates you because you refuse to accept her, and repeatedly deadname and misgender her whenever she called you.

Yeah that was most definitely my worst birthday, so glad I cut those dipshits out of my life.

It’s almost certainly transphobic people or bots run by transphobic people. Either way people who don’t bring anything positive to the discussion and who bear hostility to the trans community, hence why I say the downvotes on the post can be used to find some of the more quiet transphobes and ban them.

what qualifies as “just asking questions”

You just highlighted a transphobic dogwhistle, where people claim to be “just asking questions” and their questions are by nature invalidating or attempting to be invalidating towards trans people.

if you want to know what I meant by downvotes in the thread, many people who are transphobic aren’t bold enough to express it directly, they do it indirectly claiming they are just asking questions or that they just don’t support that one basic things that trans people expect to receive. Some are even more less direct, lurking and hiding but they still express their distain and transphobia through downvotes. On Reddit they were practically anonymous. The fediverse though allows votes to be seen by instance admins, so it’s really easy for admins to find the ones doing this and give them the boot. Votes aren’t anonymous.

I already did provide you with criteria for what counts as transphobia, though from what you’ve said here you sound like a typical apologist and discussion will likely not go anywhere.

I don’t support transphobia, but this sounds extremely aggressive and almost unworkable. Who gets to decide what qualifies as “thinly veiled transphobia”? or “transphobic dogwhistles” and what approach is used to disperse bans?

It’s easy, comments which dismiss or devalue trans people, attempt to undermine our rights, or justify or sympathize with transphobia count as thinly veiled transphobia. This is widely agreed upon by trans people and their allies alike.

For example, in many countries some people who might be generally supportive of trans people (in the sense that they would want you to be the best version of yourself) might oppose inclusion of trans women in natal-women’s spaces. Does this qualify for an automatic ban?

This is transphobic, it implies that trans women aren’t real women. We are real women. We aren’t men pretending to be women. This type of argument attempts to invalidate trans women and claim that we aren’t real women. They claim to respect us as women but they don’t think we should be in spaces with other women. If we’re real women and they think we’re real women how does that make any sense. Answer, it doesn’t. This is an example of thinly veiled transphobia.

Some might claim this is transphobic, but my answer to that would be: How do you know? Do you speak the local language? Have you lived there? Do you have any knowledge about the region’s history? Do you know what the attitude of the local LGBT community is to the above-mentioned example?

More examples of trying to justify thinly veiled transphobia. You know how we know it IS transphobic, because it is exclusionary towards actual women on the basis that we’re transgender. Just because transphobia is normalized in some places doesn’t make it not transphobia, also doesn’t make it not wrong and exclusionary. Please don’t try to excuse transphobia on the basis of the people being foreigners or the transphobia being mild and the people still self-proclaiming themselves to be trans allies.

Hopefully more people from lemmy.blahaj.zone can go through the general communities on lemmy.world and the like and report as many of those users as possible so they can be banned from their instance.

I would definitely oppose this without addressing specifically what qualifies as “transphobia” and what the specific policies are with regards to moderator actions. Otherwise this is just some rampage witchhunt against perceived enemies.

It’s not complicated, anything trans exclusionary or invalidating to trans identities is transphobic. “I don’t hate trans people but I don’t think they should force their identities and pronouns onto other people” is a transphobic dogwhistle and a prime example of thinly veiled transphobia, and it’s the kind of thing you’d likely excuse here. I mean you literally excused excluding trans women from “women’s spaces” despite us being women. That in and of itself is a dogwhistle, “protect women’s spaces”. I do think that Lemmy.blahaj.zone though should alert other admins including lemmy.world’s admins o the problem though so they can ban these people everywhere, and not just from a single instance and its communities.

The downvotes on this thread might be a very good way for admins to identify transphobic people, most of them are likely either transphobes or bots run by transphobes. If you’re not interested maybe still collect the names and send it to @ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone so she can use it to better clean up their instance from silent transphobia.

I only saw one Mod who was for it and he wasn’t even using his mod powers to push it, he was just pushing transphobia apologia and happened to be a mod in a different community. He got banned quickly from the community he did it in by the way. Glad he did, I’m sure he would’ve kept going if they didn’t. Though I do regret posting to his community. I might make a post addressing it later in !trans@lemmy.blahaj.zone so people know to steer clear of those communities.

I have too, !mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone, !trans@lemmy.blahaj.zone, and !asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone are some really nice ones. Most of what I’ve seen weren’t bad communities or even bad posts, it was users commenting under posts, sometimes their own, sometimes other people’s. Some weren’t even in communities related to LGBTQ, but it came up and they were talking about it. Most of the users had the @lemmy.world extension but a few were lemmy.ml, and a few others too.

Most of those people are on big general purpose instances hiding in the shadows, instead of hanging out on Nazi instances so defederation doesn’t really help. Hopefully more people from lemmy.blahaj.zone can go through the general communities on lemmy.world and the like and report as many of those users as possible so they can be banned from their instance. Though it also does feel like a bandaide fix, we need bigger instances to cooperate on these issues, otherwise it’s not actually solved, just hidden for one side. We need lemmy.world’s admins to ban a lot of these people, so they’ll be banned everywhere, not just on specific servers. Banning them from the communities on those instances so they can’t post on them at all anymore. Not just making their transphobic garbage hidden.

I will definitely report it more often when I see it.

I know, I’m subscribed to many of their communities already, they are some of the nicest people I’ve met on the fediverse. If I was going to recommend my friends join Lemmy I would recommend they join lemmy.blahaj.zone. However even though there are good instances which are safe spaces it doesn’t detract from the problem, since they will still use the federated general communities and thus will still encounter those problems. Even if they’re on the friendly insances, the problem gets federated.

That’s why it is important to address transphobia in the fediverse as a whole, having safe spaces help but we should expect a level of common decency in any community. Not just in the trans-specific communities.

Most of the people exhibiting the transphobic traits and behaviors I’ve mentioned had @lemmy.world extensions on their account. I saw only a few from lemmy.ml doing it, and essentially no hexbears doing it at all.

Well you have to look to a source to buy Estrogen and blockers grey-market, can be hard since it’s… well it’s a grey area. There’s more to it than that but that’s the hard part.

Pirated it (did DIY HRT)

It’s a meme about gender identity using techy terms in different ways to describe how a person realized they were trans (or I guess that they aren’t trans). Basically it’s humor, it’s also a shitpost.