Okay, rant time. If you don’t like rants, skip this comment.

Listen motherfuckers, Halloween isn’t about candy. The fact that the candy has become the point is a fucking problem.

We’ve lost the social cohesion, the sense of community, and even the superstitions that made Halloween such a popular holiday.

And that fucking sucks.

Nobody really believes we’re scaring off bad spirits any more, but we could at least celebrate the weird, the scary, and just spend one night a year dressing up for fun.

Fuck the candy. The only reason we have to give out candy is because assholes fucked up being able to give out home made treats. Man, did any of y’all have the fucking awesomeness of getting candy coated apples, or home made fudge, or wax paper wrapped cookies? Or anything but the sugar bombs in a bag you buy? But no, some assholes had to fuck around and break the ability to trust the social contract of Halloween.

Shit, I’m the only asshole in my entire town baking and making things today. Why? Because I’m the only idiot willing to put up a sign on my door “home made treats available on request by adults”. Which means I’m the only house on the fucking street that has cars pulling up with kids in them, accompanied by adults. Parents don’t let kids walk the streets on Halloween any more because humans are fucking horrible and can’t be trusted not to mess with kids. So that means nobody even fucking bothers to hand out anything, they all go to fucking trunk and treat shit, which ends up being about the fucking candy instead of having fun because a bunch of people in parking lots isn’t a community.

Fuck. Fuck the assholes that ruined Halloween and turned it into a day for fucking candy.