Or the feeling of , that should gave taken way less time, man I suck. Did I do it right? Better redo it (6 hours later…)
Yeah. I struggled to finish my graduation thesis, for many reasons, but chief among them was that I took on a project I didn’t know I wasn’t prepared for (it went way, waaay beyond what my education gave me, including economic and social issues I definitely was not prepared to explore, nevermind explain) and my supervisor was as inexperienced in it as I was. Me being the perfectionist that I am, being unable to produce what I imagined meant I’d rather do nothing.
Took me about 2y to get a decent research paper together (it really didn’t need to take that long, it was a qualitative study on gentrification in my city), and by the time I was able to guilt myself into actually finishing it, I got a decent looking project in about 2 weeks, hyperfocusing through the absolute rage the entire thing was giving me. The terna (experts assigned to judge) loved it, from the research to the execution. I asked for the degree to be handed to me on site instead of through a ceremony. I was just absolutely done with it, lol.
I don’t really feel proud about it even though I should be, I’m just glad I got through it at all.
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Dopamine after an accomplishment? Nah.
Wait I thought that’s what accomplishment was?
I usually feel anger at myself that it took that long/wasn’t better/something else my brain had decided to keep me from getting any good brain chemicals
“Anyone else would have done this in their sleep and done a better job than me”
Not if they had the same struggles that you do—they would have done exactly what you did.
Im quite sure I dont have ADHD, and I can absolutely relate. When I finally wrote my last exam of my highschool everyone was kinda hyped afterwards and I was like “and now? That’s it?”
I’m no brainologist but I wonder if things like this might be more related to autistic cognition. There seems to be something similar in the space of not attaching the same significance to events others find emotionally charged.
Nah this is purely a malfunction in the rewards and punishment functions of the brain that keeps you motivated. Autistic people don’t have any problem with motivation unless they have some other diagnosis. If there is a connection, it would be with something like depression or RADS.
I was quite sure I didn’t have ADHD, too.
Not feeling a sense of accomplishment is not normal. You deserve better. Just check into it, okay?
“How much longer do I have to do this shit? I’m too afraid to live, and more afraid to die. Well, not afraid of a painless death. Fuck, I’m bored.”
I don’t even get the sense of relief. I could stop 1 second short of finishing and feel no difference.
For me the relief comes from finally being able to let go of the guilt I felt for not getting it done before. Maybe you don’t feel guilty so you don’t get the relief after the guilt?
No finished project without some force that provided the focus to get it done.
How can any feeling of accomplishment fill the mind when there is the bad feeling of being forced?
Well maybe if someone paid those MTX’s you would get that sense of PRIDE and ACCOMPLISHMENT 😤😤
it’s an older meme sir, but it checks out
Isn’t that one of the major symptoms of OCD?
ADHD and 'tism too.
I know the post is a joke but this has high impact on our lives. You don’t develop a drive for certain things unless you feel rewarded. For a lot of us we put in all the work but never get the reward. It’s fucking hell.
For me and many others it’s even the opposite: we are rewarded with a bad mood after we do the thing
Yes, and the ever-present “I should’ve done it THAT way, goddamn, I probably screwed up…”
Expectations aren’t being fulfilled.
