Warning: The content of this post might be troubling, especially to those with a sensitivity to nightmares or suicide.
I have nightmares that turn into meta-nightmares. I will be in a dream and something threatening is trying to get me. I notice that what is happening is unrealistic or nonsensical, so I tell myself I’m in a nightmare and try to wake myself up. I try yelling as loud as possible, shaking, slapping myself awake, and just telling myself over and over to wake up. I even dream that in my bed in my bedroom fighting through sleep paralysis while trying waking up, while the threat is coming to my bedroom. It’s terrifying. Many times, I wake up happy I was able to finally escape the nightmare, only to realize I’m actually still asleep and the nightmare resumes. It’s very exhausting and disappointing because I will go through many cycles per night (up to 10 times) of thinking I wake up only to be in the nightmare again. It’s like I learn to not be hopeful that it’s over.
On a few occasions where the threat was so severe that I rather die, I have killed myself in the dream, and that works but it is terrifying and I wake up as if it were really happening. I wake up breathing heavily, sweating, super confused, and scared to go back to sleep again. It’s like I’m checking if everything is real and having to come to terms that I just committed suicide in my dreams. This only happens when I know I am going to die in the nightmare and rather end it on my own terms. So while it works, it’s not really an option in nightmares where the threat isn’t certain death since they seem so real in the moment. I also don’t want to build a mental habit of committing suicide every time I’m scared for obvious reasons.
In general, the nightmares seem to come in episodes of a few months. They then go away seemingly out of nowhere, and I’m back to normal dreams. I’m currently in the beginning of a new episode, so I’m trying to prepare for the next few months. I don’t have the option to speak with a therapist. I’m looking for remedy that I can employ myself. It can be anything, but I really enjoy learning, so if there is a book or skill recommendation, I would highly appreciate it!
Any tips on how to wake up during nightmares or any other remedies?
I don’t quite understand. Do you attain lucidity? You should be able to alter reality in a lucid dream.
The thing is that the dream is so realistic, that in the dream I think I’m in danger in real life. I think I need to wake up because what is happening in my dream is actually happening in real life. Waking up from my dream will help me respond to the danger I believe is present in real life.
Like imagine you are sleeping in a hammock in the jungle. While sleeping, you dream of your real situation. During the dream, you suddenly think that in real life, there is a gorilla coming for you so you need to wake up. No matter how much you try to wake up, you can’t. Throughout the dream, you think you finally woke up only to realize that you’re still really sleeping. That is what keeps happening. It’s terrifying and exhausting. I almost didn’t go to sleep last night, but a friend agreed to stay over.
I have not intentionally lucid dreamed but you may want to look into it as maybe it would help. I used to have a reoccurring kidnap nightmare when I was a kid. The dream would start in my house so it did feel real and I would be chased by the kidnappers and eventually I would wake up. Well one day I think I went lucid as I stopped running and like somehow just summoned my family around me and we went and chased them off and told them never to come back again. That was the last occurence of that nightmare and I never had reoccuring ones after that. I don’t expect this to directly help or anything but maybe it will.