When I was in 2nd grade, I was stuck in a corner for participating too much. This character flaw has followed me all my life. My ex told me people didn’t like me because I shared my thoughts too much, and I just got feedback from my boss about the same thing.

The thing is, I’ve tried to stop my whole life. I only participate maybe 10% of the time, and I generally try to let others speak first unless no one is speaking up. But I’m still getting this feedback. I’m like a bull in a china shop, knocking down everyone no matter how careful I try to be.

The only solution I can come up with is to assume no one wants to hear from me and disengage. Stop caring, stop thinking, and stop participating altogether. I already feel isolated from everyone. This is just making it worse. I think I have to face the fact that I’m not welcome in any degree.

Any other ideas?

  • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Participating too much could also be a way to say you aren’t moving on in a conversation/meeting. There’s a flow in conversations and especially meetings. Once something has been decided, you need to move on, no one wants to hear arguments for why we should get sushi after deciding on Mexican food for lunch.

    It can be easier to say you talk too much instead of you don’t concede points or move on.