When I was in 2nd grade, I was stuck in a corner for participating too much. This character flaw has followed me all my life. My ex told me people didn’t like me because I shared my thoughts too much, and I just got feedback from my boss about the same thing.
The thing is, I’ve tried to stop my whole life. I only participate maybe 10% of the time, and I generally try to let others speak first unless no one is speaking up. But I’m still getting this feedback. I’m like a bull in a china shop, knocking down everyone no matter how careful I try to be.
The only solution I can come up with is to assume no one wants to hear from me and disengage. Stop caring, stop thinking, and stop participating altogether. I already feel isolated from everyone. This is just making it worse. I think I have to face the fact that I’m not welcome in any degree.
Any other ideas?
As an academic, we often don’t follow our own social rules. We’ll say we want people to stop us if they have a question. That’s frequently not the case. My advise. Be that guy, but read the room.