When I was in 2nd grade, I was stuck in a corner for participating too much. This character flaw has followed me all my life. My ex told me people didn’t like me because I shared my thoughts too much, and I just got feedback from my boss about the same thing.
The thing is, I’ve tried to stop my whole life. I only participate maybe 10% of the time, and I generally try to let others speak first unless no one is speaking up. But I’m still getting this feedback. I’m like a bull in a china shop, knocking down everyone no matter how careful I try to be.
The only solution I can come up with is to assume no one wants to hear from me and disengage. Stop caring, stop thinking, and stop participating altogether. I already feel isolated from everyone. This is just making it worse. I think I have to face the fact that I’m not welcome in any degree.
Any other ideas?
I also have that issue, so I try and focus on not going too far down the rabbit hole if it’s not relevant.
If I’m speaking to my boss I’ll say:
“This happens because of that, I’m gonna fix that”
As opposed to:
“What’s happening is X does Y, then Z occurs. That’s because of the A and B not being quite right, because B is blah blah blah. I thought about trying option 1, but that doesn’t work because blah, option 2 doesn’t work either because blah, but option 3 works because of blah blah blah.”
If they don’t need that info, then you don’t need to share it.
100% yes, it’s so hard to kick that urge to just go on and on and on. I allow myself to do it here on Lemmy as a bit of a break from filtering myself in real life, so some of my comments are barely edited streams of consciousness :)
A lot of advice is given to people with ADHD for how they can make neurotypical people comfortable and seem more productive, but less is given to maintaining good mental health with ADHD - definitely make sure that you have ways of letting yourself loose and make sure not to be too hard on yourself when people don’t appreciate your style :P