If somebody you knew like a family member, partner or friend told you they had NPD would you still talk to them? Would it change how you feel about that person?
As someone with NPD I’m always worried about how having NPD would affect me socially. It’s so stigmatised and people are always talking about how dangerous people with cluster B personality disorders are. I’m dating this guy at the minute. I really love him but I’m worried about how he would feel if he found out about my NPD. Would he still want to see me after what you see online about NPD? Should I ever tell him? Should I just keep it secret?
As of now I’ve told nobody about my diagnosis other than a few people at job interviews. What I’m basically asking here is ‘How will NPD affect your social life?’.
Honestly, don’t tell anyone except your partner. From what I’ve seen, revealing that kind of information often leads to more disadvantages than benefits. At best, people might not treat you any differently and won’t make assumptions about your behavior, motives, or credibility based on what they’ve read online. But realistically, you’re unlikely to gain any tangible advantages by sharing it. Keeping it to yourself gives you the most control over the situation.
I’ve heard stories of people who genuinely try to be good, fair individuals—people who contribute positively to society and the communities around them. But when they’ve disclosed being on the NPD/BPD/ASPD spectrum (or something similar), they’ve often been met with skepticism or outright mistrust. Some get accused of being liars, manipulators, or “puppet masters” with sadistic intentions, as though their diagnosis defines their every action.
I can only imagine how difficult that must be. You put so much effort into overcoming harmful behavioral patterns, making decisions that prioritize fairness and the well-being of everyone involved—not just yourself. And yet, even the people closest to you might turn around and act like they fully understand your diagnosis after skimming a few pop-psychology articles or watching a couple of sensationalized YouTube videos titled something like, “The Dangers of People with BPD/NPD/ASPD.” It’s infuriating when they then start framing you as selfish, dishonest, or manipulative—especially when, in reality, you’ve been actively keeping the balance in their favor simply because it felt like the right thing to do and you believed they deserved that kindness.
That kind of response can really hurt.
Just look at the other replies here—neurotypicals just aren’t ready for this kind of conversation.
I’ve experienced this myself. No irl but on this Lemmy. I made a thread a few weeks ago asking “Why is NPD so stigmatized?”. I wanted to why cluster B personality disorders were treated so differently to other things like depression or autism and the responsive were what you just described here.