Apologies if this veered too much off topic. I’ve been kicking this around for a week or two, and felt the need to add recent events and post.
It’s 5am, I haven’t eaten in 12 hours, had anything substantial to drink in about 8, have been sitting on the toilet for over an hour, and instead of doing something about any of those things I’m editing a comment to fix a typo.
I can’t remember who said it, but the quote “it is no sign of mental health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick world” was being thrown around when I was a kid in the nineties, and it’s not like things have improved much since then.
iirc there’s something called ‘depressive realism’ where depressed or otherwise overly pessimistic people tend to be more accurate at predicting outcomes. The implication being that to function as human beings we have to be at least slightly deluded at all times.
That “slightly” there is putting in a ton of work.
self diagnosed adhd undiagnosed scitzophrenia memes
My friend your first steps that you should do right now are: Get up from the toiltet Grab a glass and drink it Then make yourself a sandwich Then continue from there
It all sounds so simple, doesn’t it?
Even tasks that are extremely complicated are made up of many small, individual tasks.
And each of those small tasks is a boulder that needs to go up and over the mountain. And there’s no satisfaction for handling boulder #1, because boulder #2 has been looming the whole time. And so on. And when all of the boulders have finally been moved, the next mountain is right there. It’s different than the first mountain, and all of the boulders are different. Each boulder and mountain takes more and more energy. There’s no end. No reward for finishing. Just boulders all the way down. Or up, in this case.
I’m tired, man.
Moving a little rock is easier than moving a boulder. That is the point. Smaller individual task -> less anxiety.
But then you look at a gravel field and get overwhelmed to stay with your metaphorical picture. Yes, that is part of what happens with ADHD and detailed lists.
Spot on with the “I’d really like to get the depression under control before I let you function at your job.”
Because fixing the unfixable is somehow more important than making sure I keep my job so I can like…eat. And live indoors. And afford the healthcare that is paying them.
Also, the Adderall does wonders for my depression in addition to unlocking my superpowers
Oh sweet! What super powers did you get?
All I got was the ability to mostly choose what to focus my attention on.
Hey friend. All you can do is get medicated as best you can and learn to say the right words to get what you want out of therapy and make them take you seriously. But make your continued existence your rebellion.
Edit: and granola bars, nutrient drinks, some fruit, few nuts. Learn what your body wants/needs day to day and eating can become a relatively easy chore when you don’t have the spoons for food prep. But remember starving fucks with your head.
But make your continued existence your rebellion.
I know I’ve been fucked in the head literally forever because I remember at 12 years old I gave the sky the finger saying “I know something wants me to just kill myself but you can go fuck yourself.”
That’s changed now lol I’m tired of being a rebel, but at least I have a family that cares about me so I won’t be doing anything final to myself.
