Well, now I’m a middle aged Linux admin with a beer belly.

I also simply jumped the fence (after trying every other option, cause it seemed too easy).
Security was nowhere to be seen, but some guests didn’t like how I got in for free while they paid 150€, and got pretty angry.

They had a spot on the back coupler you could sit on.
And there was an open street crossing in my town where they had to slow down enough so that you could run up from behind and sit down on it.
When it passed the crossing you just jumped off before it accelerated again.

Yeah, you’ll encounter trained soldiers, not cops.

It was a happy childhood.

The '90s were wild.

Steal a bicycle.
Snort amphetamines.
Ride on the back of a train.
Unprotected one-night-stand.
Chase away a Grizzly and her cubs.
Climb onto a high-rise rooftop from the outside.
Break into a stadium to see Metallica live for free.
Break into an active US army base to play airsoft.
Break into Chelsea Stadium at night to steal a piece of the pitch.

Looking back, it’s a miracle I didn’t end up in prison, dead, or worse, expelled.

sugar water sold by Youtubers

I also researched some cargo pet transport companies but I’d be looking at $3k each direction.

Well, then that’s what it costs to transport your dog.
It’s really a first world problem.

I have to return some videotapes.

You accept your fate and start to eat it.

A bit later, the waitress comes back with your fries, apologies for the mix-up (the potato was for the table next to you) and asks why you didn’t say something.

The people at the table next to you can hear the entire conversation.

Just a shot in the dark:
Backup your fstab, then edit it to mount the drives to a subdirectory of your home.
Maybe that’ll get you back access.

That apt based distro was Ubuntu, wasn’t it?
I never successfully upgraded that from one release to the next.

deprogram an extreme liberal

Read Das Kapital to them

towards center

They’re already in the “center”

To put electrons on the table and get their little LEDs through college.

Yes, if it comes out that lots of employees didn’t take their PTO, the company gets in legal trouble.
Which means the bosses get in trouble.

This seems completely foreign to me.
My boss summons me for a one-on-one if it’s getting late in the year and I haven’t taken all my PTO yet.
If I collect too much of it, or too much overtime, without using it, I can get written up.
Sometimes it’s not easy either, with 42 days of PTO a year (plus unlimited sick days).

What should I have said?

“You think about strange men’s genitals a lot, don’t you?”