“No.”

Crisis averted, can get back to fixing things now. The only way you’re getting me on the phone is if there’s some audio component to the problem (alarm buzzers or tones they aren’t able to identify) that isn’t easy to explain in text. Other than that, there are usually just a handful of common issues and you can tell which path we’re going down after a sentence or two of their description.

I’d watch this Red Dawn reboot.

A tank full of sharks and gloves that dispense a sticky concentrated chum mixture with each hit. Get a couple good body blows in, knock them into the water, let nature (+/-) take its course.

Hot-glue some of the holes so they each play a different chord. Maybe some kind of flexible barrier in front could redirect airflow until the vehicle picks up speed so some or all will stay quiet initially.

It’s okay, they’re using that special load-bearing drywall.

All 10 of course. Rather keep it discreet though, don’t want anybody asking awkward questions about why I carry around bags of fingers, whose fingers they are, that sort of thing.

It’s just a new flavor, nothing says he can’t still lick them.

Going from shampoo to ram poo.

I’m not 100% certain but this looks like one of those cases where a commenter jokingly says that they feel personally attacked but mean that they agree with what was said. Playing at oversensitivity for comedic effect.

Can’t I just have eternal damnation instead? Sacre bleu!

Probably start eating brains. Too close to a major population center to think I’d get out and away without being bitten at least once or twice.

cactus cock

Cocktus.

Shoelace foreskins.

It knows.

Hey OP, what do these entries mean to you?

The guy he killed lost 24 years of memories.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Webflow

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It’s not mistaken, no.

If I wanted to read my e-mails out loud, I’d record that and attach the .mp3 file. There is almost never a reason to call me.